Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#58467
Hi,

I'm a 49 yo caregiver/DomDaddy/Master of my new little/sub.
This is the first time I am in the position of caregiver to a regressing little. She regresses to about 5 to 8 yo. When she does, adult her is just gone.

Coming out of littlespace, she has very limited recollection. She wishes she had. I was thinking of starting a little-diary with her (written by her little), IN littlespace. For her to read back on when she comes out.
What do you guys think of that idea?

And then, aftercare!
As she goes so incredibly deep into littlespace (adult her just stops existing), when she comes out, it hits, HARD.
I am hoping there are Caregivers, or littles out there with similar experience and hopefully advice to share on how they made that landing back into grownups world a softer transition.
She now has to sleep (15-30 minutes) to lighten the blow, but would prefer not to.

I am looking both for advice on what she can do for herself and what I could do (extra) to turn this bomb drop experience into a smooth glide.

Hope you guys have some sound advice/experience to share.
#58472
Hi there, Little here. I may not have the catch all fix, but I think it might be good to discuss his with her while she is out of littlespace. A diary or journal could be a good idea. It could start with you journaling what you observe about her in littlespace, and when she is out of littlespace (not just as she comes out of it, but like on a day where you can start fresh) you could say "these were some things I noticed when you were regressed, would you be able to tell me what this might mean?" or "what do you think little you might need when she does this?" Obviously, I'd let her know you plan on doing this, or suggest it to her and ask her if it would be ok. You could then ask her if little her could write down how she is feeling, there are little charts I believe that have smiley faces and one word descriptors that littles can point to when they go non verbal, which could also be helpful.
As far as aftercare goes, I am also a submissive and reassurance and words of comfort after a scene, as well as reassurance that I am safe with my Daddy help bring me back to earth. I don't know the details of your dynamic, but a good ol fashioned negotiation session/porch time goes a long way, and it can be ongoing.
I hope others can provide more elaborate answers, but I would say that having a conversation with your little while she is completely adult and not regressed about the best course of action would be best. Regressed or not, littles are adults and we know what our needs are. The articles here in the resources tab also offer some great questions you can ask each other! I wish you the best of luck! :stuffie:
#58487
Well porgwitch, as a daddy your reaching for something I feel that there is a void in your life I hope you find it. If you wish and want to text I’m open.
#58489
ummmmm I was responding to the OG poster who is looking for advice in his dynamic....idk where my response to them implies a void in my own life but I think you misread that
#58557
You’ve received some really good advice here already about aftercare. I did notice that something important hasn’t been addressed yet.

CareDaddyKev wrote: 1 month ago She regresses to about 5 to 8 yo. When she does, adult her is just gone.

Coming out of littlespace, she has very limited recollection.
This is not normal or to be expected when we’re talking about being Little or “going to littlespace”. Your partner should not be unable to recall feeling regressed and should not mentally be incapable of recalling their learned, matured, and experienced mind. Their memories, skills, knowledge, and everything else their brain has learned throughout the decades should never actually disappear for any amount of time. The mind should still be of an adult at all times, but the person’s way of self-expression is what mimics that of a child.

Consider how terrifying it would be if you not only forgot hours at a time but were told that during that time you seemed incapable of rational decision making in times of emergency, like a fire or a break-in. That you seemed vulnerable and naive. While you may be able to predict some of these episodes you have no way of truly controlling them. That’s a big concern, right? And it’s just not safe, right?

What you’re describing is very worrisome and indicates your partner may suffer from an actual mental disorder, not necessarily “littlespace”. So, while you should help her mind with coming back to true reality after these episodes, you should also strongly encourage her to seek real help through a licensed therapist instead of having to deal with very vulnerable lapses in time for her. Her avoiding treatment for this can absolutely backfire and place her in an unexpected, dangerous situation in the future. Love her enough to help her get help!

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