- 2 years ago
#56655
Please forgive me in advance as I know very little about this. I have read the FAQ and most of the resources that were available before posting this question and I do understand that my post may come across as offensive, which is not my intention.
I'm an older individual who is married. Happily so. I strongly believe my partner is inclined to being a little. I have taken the reins in the past when he has been distressed and it was immediately helpful.
I've known most of my life that I am a caregiver. The general sense and within our relationship. I've been accused of codependency on many occasions. I have never found resentment or personal harm to come from my preference of looking after others, including him.
My spouse is a very intelligent adult and capable of providing consent to such things. My concern is whether indulging in this may be hurtful to him. He is a survivor of extreme abuse and I do not desire to act out scenarios that reference it or to have him cross the wires with me and his abuser/s.
I plan on addressing this with a therapist and with him. I would like to gather some information beforehand so that I have as much foreknowledge as possible about what to expect and what is normal or harmful in the long run.
If this is a dynamic you have incorporated successfully despite a significant abuse history--and you would be willing to share your experiences in any similar circumstances--it would be greatly appreciated.
I'm an older individual who is married. Happily so. I strongly believe my partner is inclined to being a little. I have taken the reins in the past when he has been distressed and it was immediately helpful.
I've known most of my life that I am a caregiver. The general sense and within our relationship. I've been accused of codependency on many occasions. I have never found resentment or personal harm to come from my preference of looking after others, including him.
My spouse is a very intelligent adult and capable of providing consent to such things. My concern is whether indulging in this may be hurtful to him. He is a survivor of extreme abuse and I do not desire to act out scenarios that reference it or to have him cross the wires with me and his abuser/s.
I plan on addressing this with a therapist and with him. I would like to gather some information beforehand so that I have as much foreknowledge as possible about what to expect and what is normal or harmful in the long run.
If this is a dynamic you have incorporated successfully despite a significant abuse history--and you would be willing to share your experiences in any similar circumstances--it would be greatly appreciated.