- 3 years ago
#55944
Hello.
I am very new to this forum. I would like to start by saying I am in a safe place (for now), have reached out to counselors and resources in my area, and am aware this might be triggering for some readers.
I fell in mad love with my daddy figure; we were childhood sweethearts knew each other for twenty years. He reconnected with me again and spoiled and adored me. He flew me across the country to depend on him; I felt very safe, loved, and happy at first. I model / work in entertainment, and make music. He is a working class kind of guy. We have a history of shared trauma, and our connection was the most intense of my life.
Gradually this person changed and became unsafe. He crossed boundaries we established, and bossed me around (not in a good, nurturing way, but in a cruel way with no comfort after). He shouted a lot and became threatening, (sometimes physically), and finally, he dumped me off alone in the parking lot of a motel, screaming at me at the top of his lungs. He has abandoned the relationship , and me, but has gone back and forth on a daily basis if he wants to get back together or not.
I have no family, other than my younger brothers, who I raised my self.
I am confused because I held up to my end of the deal. I was submissive, behaved, accommodated his emotional needs in and out of the kink rules, and did everything for him. On top of that, I was beautiful, in good shape, and cute...but he completely cut off my emotional supply, words of affirmation, validation and spoiling etc.
During the breakup he did not even address my little identity; he is cruel and harsh and cold as if I had several affairs or was at fault for everything...as if I am a threatening, dominant person and not a faithful sub/ little at all. Since my age regression is trauma related, it is deeply horrifying.
I feel like a little girl at a bus stop in one sock looking for the person who loves me but he is gone.
I try to talk to counselors about the DDLG but they don't understand; they think that is naturally abusive. And I can't get proper guidance from them. I have never talked to another little girl or another daddy/dom before besides this one, so I don't know what normal is.
I am so scared. Please let me know if you have any advice. I keep waiting for him to play with me and even holding my toys does not comfort me; it makes me ill. Please let me know if you understand.
I am very new to this forum. I would like to start by saying I am in a safe place (for now), have reached out to counselors and resources in my area, and am aware this might be triggering for some readers.
I fell in mad love with my daddy figure; we were childhood sweethearts knew each other for twenty years. He reconnected with me again and spoiled and adored me. He flew me across the country to depend on him; I felt very safe, loved, and happy at first. I model / work in entertainment, and make music. He is a working class kind of guy. We have a history of shared trauma, and our connection was the most intense of my life.
Gradually this person changed and became unsafe. He crossed boundaries we established, and bossed me around (not in a good, nurturing way, but in a cruel way with no comfort after). He shouted a lot and became threatening, (sometimes physically), and finally, he dumped me off alone in the parking lot of a motel, screaming at me at the top of his lungs. He has abandoned the relationship , and me, but has gone back and forth on a daily basis if he wants to get back together or not.
I have no family, other than my younger brothers, who I raised my self.
I am confused because I held up to my end of the deal. I was submissive, behaved, accommodated his emotional needs in and out of the kink rules, and did everything for him. On top of that, I was beautiful, in good shape, and cute...but he completely cut off my emotional supply, words of affirmation, validation and spoiling etc.
During the breakup he did not even address my little identity; he is cruel and harsh and cold as if I had several affairs or was at fault for everything...as if I am a threatening, dominant person and not a faithful sub/ little at all. Since my age regression is trauma related, it is deeply horrifying.
I feel like a little girl at a bus stop in one sock looking for the person who loves me but he is gone.
I try to talk to counselors about the DDLG but they don't understand; they think that is naturally abusive. And I can't get proper guidance from them. I have never talked to another little girl or another daddy/dom before besides this one, so I don't know what normal is.
I am so scared. Please let me know if you have any advice. I keep waiting for him to play with me and even holding my toys does not comfort me; it makes me ill. Please let me know if you understand.