Our
knowledge base has really helpful information about a lot of questions you may end up having along the way. I highly recommend you read through the articles. I think there are multiple good starting points throughout those pages:
http://www.littlespaceonline.com/viewforum.php?f=88
So, just to make it clear, you do not need to specifically reveal yourself as a little or regressor to your partner and not wanting to make a big, special reveal of this can be the right way to go for many regressors. You can gently and very casually act playfully, silly, and just very lightly little from time to time and let them be exposed to this part of you without them being pressured to participate in a special way or feeling like you are changing who you are right in front of their eyes. A part of being in a closely bonded relationship is letting your partner see parts of yourself that perhaps nobody else has ever seen and letting them even just passively accept those parts. There are great odds that you will eventually sprinkle a little regressive personality here and there around him and that he will passively accept that as just being a part of who you are--no labels required, no big reveal required, no special participation on his part required.
If your partner already knows that you are a little quirky, a little goofy or extra playful from time to time, then if they were to ever discover that there is a label associated with that personality type then it's easier for them to logically see that you never necessarily hid it out of shame. So, if he knows that you regularly binge watch cartoons every Saturday morning because you think it's fun, or that when you are having a bad day you need extra long cuddles from him, then these are already passively accepted by him and easy to point out as a part of your regression even.
If he were to ever stumble upon your search history then it's very logical at that point to say, "I realized that I was a little weird so I searched for why and found out that there were other people that were silly like me. Remember how I ... ? Yeah, it turns out that it's just a part of an uncommon personality type and it was cool to discover other people were weird like me too. It wasn't anything I thought I needed to specifically mention to you since nothing was changing about me or anything."
Sometimes when someone discovers this about you then they think a few negative, scary things. You can combat that by preparing early if you choose. Some of the misunderstandings are:
- It must have to do with biological children in some way.
Obviously it doesn't at all, but to someone who has no idea why we use the terms we use it can be logical to think we're not taking about adults. Be prepared to show your partner helpful resources that are educational, and encourage them to also join online communities and read about it too. Hiding and being secretive indicates there is some sort of shame or guilt so be ready to say, "Hey, you can look at this stuff too! There is nothing with it. I just didn't tell you because I didn't think it was a big deal. That's really all."
- You must be demanding they do something differently or be someone different now.
Of course that isn't the case and regression doesn't require a partner to enjoy. Be ready to let your partner know that you also love and care about them just as they are and that you aren't making requests for them to do or be something different. You are just who you've always been, and you expect them to also be just who they've always been.
- This must all be some sort of giant physically intimate fantasy.
While we know this absolutely is not the case, we also know that there are people who roleplay out adult fantasies use some of the endearing names we use for one another. We also have a large part of our community also connected to the BeDeeSeM community so a lot of outsiders can absolutely be mistaken that everyone here is into BeDeeSeM or play scenarios. Again, being okay to present your partner with resources you've reviewed and believe to be most accurate to you is going to help tremendously in helping them to understand that it isn't just some big sex thing for you.
- Regression must be a part of a mental illness or connected to an intellectual disability.
Having an uncommon personality trait isn't a mental illness, and the regressive trait is not related to psychological disorders such as what we formerly referred to as dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder. We know that littles do not disassociate when they regress nor do they become a different person or separate personality. It's important to keep language in mind when talking about these concerns though. It's important to not describe regression as being "a coping mechanism" because it leads a person to believe that it's a choice you are making and not your core personality--literally who you are as an individual and not so much an act you put on from time to time. It's also important to know that even though it may feel very therapeutic to some regressors, it cannot take the place of professional therapy. Both being mindful of the words you use to gently explain your personality to someone is helpful as well as resources you believe are accurate to you.
Lastly, your self-realization doesn't have to be stressful. You don't
have to do anything special to embrace yourself. You don't
need material items, a partner to participate in regression with you, or to spend a dedicated amount of time littlespace in any way. You can explore very slowly, very quietly, just online, or infrequently. Go at your own pace on this discovery and exploration. Just love yourself and everything will be just dandy.
- By princejayjay
- By Yori
- By LilBeth
- By Babe