I feel like my little/middlespace is always there, always in the back of my mind. It's most strong when I am able to go into my room, close & lock the door, and just relax and especially when I am with my Daddy or interacting with him via text.
I am a care provider in a demanding area of healthcare and a caregiver to my special needs son. So, I -have- to have this outlet to stay sane. I like other people making the calls (to an extent) and feeling safe/protected when I am able.
And, honestly, my mannerisms can be seen as always wavering in and out of middlespace. Loud music, rebellious appearance/behaviour, colouring books, video games, books/comics/graphic novels, board games, piercings/tattoos, dabbling with drugs (leaf is legal in Canada) and alcohol (Kraken rum or crown royal whiskey!). I like testing limits and don't always feel like I fit in because it isn't that I am immature, but I always feel separated by other adults somehow. Sometimes I feel I am living the teenage experience I never had when I was younger. But I am absolutely enjoying myself now, too. I feel more relaxed!