It sounds like you’re really stressed out about yourself so much that your self confidence has taken a hit. I’m really sorry for that
it must really be wearing you down to feel this way so frequently.
I do think a lot of your concerns are unfounded and that you’re likely overthinking and worrying about things that aren’t really true. I’m quite the worrier too. I know how that gets to become kind of cyclical though and it can be really hard to overcome.
take care of yourself, you aren’t powerless because you lean into childish / childlike feelings at times. You are still very, very capable! You can still learn, grow, and try. You aren’t stuck!
The real, honest truth is no matter how much you feel like a child a times, you aren’t a child. You are an adult. You never transform into being anything differently. So, look at you! You’ve already learned so much and you already developed so many cool skills. You’ve already made accomplishments and achievements. You’ve already learned way more than you imagined you could. You are wiser than you may feel at times. Don’t let your regressive feelings overtake your humanity. You have every capability potential of any other adult, I promise!
A lot of Littles benefit from schedules and structure, it seems. I think it’s so it’s more clear as to when and how long it’s okay to be “in littlespace” without taking it too far and wasting away too much time in fun feelings. So, maybe you can think up some more structured ways of dealing with what you feel you’re not really the best at. Actually, if you asked a counselor to help you with that specifically I bet you could get something down pretty easily to integrate into your life.
It’s probably a good idea too to be able to connect with a professional about your lowered self esteem. Maybe they can help you identify your strengths instead of falling into the negativity of your not-strengths. They can help give you an outsider’s perspective too to help you know when you’re being too silly and really just overthinking things.
Everyone has seasons, and this may be a season of growth ahead for you. Sometimes it takes more effort than you thought but I believe in you and your ability to be better and better. Do some work intentionally on yourself and connect with some professionals that can help stand with you to help you identify just how great you can grow