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Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#60412
hi. ive been age dreaming for a few years and only started regressing about 6 months ago when i met my boyfriend. a few months ago he started showing interest in regressing himself and its been great but i feel like my little self has been shut out. its more me taking care of him than him caring for me. im grateful for him no matter what roles were playing but ive felt my little self start disappearing. i dont feel her anymore and it feels like he doesnt want her anymore even tho he tells me he does. how do i bring this up to him without hurting him? or should i just cut her off for the time being and focus solely on caring for him? any and all advice and tips are welcome
#60424
I think it's great that you both can regress openly with each other and you're open to holding that space for the other. I don't often hear about relationships that have dual-little roles so that's certainly a special kind of circumstance to be in. That being said... I certainly don't think the solution is to cut any part of yourself off. That will only lead to resentment over time if it never gets better.

I think it's important to notice the fact that you're pairing two things that are not the same thing:
1.) Telling your partner your honest feelings
2.) Him being hurt.


If these things stay paired, you'll have a hard time being honest with your partner as the relationship progresses. It's possible that not being honest is making it so that your little self doesn't feel safe to come out. His feelings may be hurt, but even if he has the capacity to regress, it's still his responsibility to manage his own emotions. The truth is that vulnerability and honesty in healthy relationships always lead to greater intimacy and closeness. If you feel that you would really appreciate more time spent receiving care that's a valid thing to have concern about and advocate for.

Being in little space is a wonderful headspace to be in. If it was there before I'm sure it's not gone forever. That little part of yourself may just need a change in her environment to feel safe coming out. I hope some of this helps, good luck!
#60427
At some point you'll definitely need to talk it over and address it with him, because shutting that part of yourself off is only going to cause resentment in the long run. Try to find some middle ground or compromise so that you both feel like your needs are being met.

Maybe you could work something out where you agree to designate specific days of the week for each role. You each have 3 days to be the little and the Caregiver, with the 7th day (whichever day works best for you both) being a "free-for-all"/spontanous, or just to use as a break from roles altogether, especially from the Caregiver role. We can't all be little 24/7 due to adult responsibilities. So it wouldn't be fair to expect someone to be in their Caregiver mode 24/7. If he has a problem with trying to work out an arrangement that works for both of you, that's very disrespectful and a red flag, and will only cause more harm and problems later on if you choose to stay in that relationship.

Hope this helps, and good luck! :)
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