Today was a depressed day.
I’ve been trying to hang out in the chat rooms. Finding ways to reach out in places for people I can talk to. They go as easily as they came…
Funnily enough, couple people from the past popped back up unexpectedly. All nice and encouraging in their own ways. Very caring. Showing interest but my heart just isn’t in it. Which brings about a feeling of guilt for reasons I don’t understand.
This evening though, it occurred to me that something I really miss that Daddy did was tell me he was proud of me.
It was such a small thing, but on days like today, what a difference it would have made.
I have no idea how much longer I’ll be going through this. I hope there will come a day when I’m past it, but to lose that kind of connection we had. All the progress I felt I made with him just seems to be gone. I’m back to my heart aching and the soul screaming. The loneliness…
Some days I do ok, but right now it’s hard again. Guess I’ll just be a broken record for a little while.