[abyss10k]

Me and my little have been togeather for 6 months, we started the dd/lg around 2ish months ago, things started off really well but now they are on a decline. She is an amazing little but im not doing so well as a caregiver and for a good 2-3 weeks i havent been active with her as a caregiver as im lost. This dynamic works really well for us but im having trouble being a good daddy/caregiver, i really want to be but im lost and need advice. This is taking a impact on our relationship and i dont wanna lose her. A lot of days i forgot to remind her to take medication, i knock her out of little space cuz i talk about adult stuff, i fail to check in on her, im failling her as a daddy/caregiver. I dont wanna fail her anymore, i feel disappointment in myself for letting her down. I dont wanna let her down anymore, its hurting me deeply, some nights i dont enforce her bedtime and fail to give her punishments for that because i feel like its wrong or is gonna hurt her. I am completely the one in the wrong and failing her. She just wants to be taken care of, feel safe and protected & most of all feel loved n happy. Im taking all of that away from her by being a snailpoop daddy/caregiver so do any littles/caregivers/daddys have any advice or tips or show me the right way to be better, i wanna learn i just need some help.

[Deleted User 69497]

Some of these are easier that others:
For daily reminders, Moonie and I have a whiteboard that contains the information that we need for daily / hourly reminders. You can also set an alarm on your phone to go off to help you remember to remind her to take medicines. I do that for my own medicines. Bedtimes, chores, etc., can go on the whiteboard to help both of you remember what needs to be done and when.

As far as knocking her out of littlespace, you two should have times set aside for when to talk adult to adult. No one should be in littlespace 24/7, so that should be scheduled time. Moonie and I do that over meals. When we're eating we talk about whatever we want to, but on a more adult level. As far as checking in on her, that depends on what her expectations are. Does she want you to constantly check-in, or periodically? Are there reasons you forget to do so? If you're living together, it doesn't take much to just step in and see how she's doing, or even rearrange things so you can be in the same room together. If you're living apart, sending a few text messages back and forth daily is normal. If you're working, or she's working, those have to be taken into account. The main point of this is...

You and her should sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation on what you both really want and need from the relationship. And you both need to agree to be 100% open and honest. If she truly wants you to enforce bedtime, then you should accept you will have to, or accept that she is not the right little for you. Very few littles are the proper little for every caregiver. We have to find the one that we mesh with best. And once you decide on what you both truly want from the relationship, then you both need to decide if you can give the other what he/she wants. If you, or her, can't then it might be best to part friends and save yourself a lot of hurt in the long run. Moonie, I, and several others have all put together a forum post that might help with these questions: viewtopic.php?f=169&t=29137

All I can say is from my relationship with Moonie, and she can add her take on it, but in our relationship, I am the one in charge. But having said that, everything I do I take into account both of our needs, and the needs of the relationship, when making decisions. She's entrusted me with that power, knowing I won't abuse it, but also knowing she can take it back if I do. We have talked about what we both need from and bring to the relationship and know we are a great match because we have those constant, open talks.

[Deleted User 70612]

Speaking on the little side part. No-one can be 24/7 little and if that is what she is wanted then there is an underlying issue that needs therapy help. If bringing her out of little space also is causing her to act out or be mad then that to is a problem. Yes being in little-space is fun and you don't want to deal with adult thing but we as adults too have to understand that being an adult happens as wells. I give my daddy full control because I know he would never abuse the faith and trust I have in him to keep our relationship and me safe. You two need to talk in adult space and I agree with my daddy some rules need to be defined between you both.

[Elvie]

If you're not meeting her needs, she needs to be upfront with what she needs and come prepared with ideas for how you can meet them. It shouldn't all be on you to figure it out. And she IS an adult. She needs a backup for a medication reminder in case you don't do it. She also can't be in littlespace at all times. Scheduled times to be little and big would probably help you both if she expects you to know when those things are occurring. A phone alarm for regular check-ins might help you to remember.