- 1 year ago
#58364
Hello I'm still new to BeDeeSeM and still figuring things out so please bare with me.
I should start with, as a single mother who works full time and takes care of an autistic 5 year old daily and the up keep of my home, my sons dad is not around, I've not dated anyone as I've been working on myself getting my career going to provide a good life for the both of us, I make all the decisions in my daily life, so its been very hard for me to adjust to a 24/7 dynamic although this is now what I want and been educating myself on BeDeeSeM and been asking questions where I don't know.
My daddy dom is really making this difficult for me at the start of our relationship, I was asking lots of questions, I also have learning difficulties so for me the best way for me to understand something is for someone to actually explain it to me. He told me and quote 'your questions are loaded' and when I told him that I like questions and he said he didn't and to 'stop questioning him' which I don't even realise that I do.
A few weeks ago I made plans to have my little cousin for the evening, he hit the roof and told me how disappointed he was in me because he was meant to be coming over that day and yet he hadn't planned it with me and had no idea that he wanted to see me, though when I said I would try and cancel he told me there's no point and that I'll be punished for it.
Another time, he told me that I had to bin all my underwear that I wore for other guys and when I told him I didn't have any because I've not had sex he told me he did not believe me, he seemed very shocked at this but between my son, my dog (hyperactive 1 year old puppy dalmation) who both requires alot of attention, and with my dogs training also i didn't have time and I also wanted to focus on myself
Going on to friends, I'll start this one with my dog trainer who's a women anyways, he asked me if my trainer was a guy, which even if she was I don't get what the problem is as she is helping me, aswell as dog Agility sessions. Infact any guy I talk to he doesn't like it, I can't go to anyone's house without his permission, guys houses are completely off limits, fine that's not really a problem but when I told him that I cook with this guy, we volunteer Tuesdays on my days off to feed mouths of elderly/adults/children he had to know who he was when I talk to him, when he checks in, and actually he's one of my best friends that I do trust either my who life if it came down to it, and has been there in my darkest days, but I'm now forbidden to talk to me, he sees me as a little sister and I for him as a big brother and even though he's gay I'm still not aloud to talk to him without permission, little inevitable when we volunteer together.
He has to know where I am all hours and I have to be alone in the evenings when my son Is in bed. If I'm being completely honest I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells, this is difficult as it is and even though I'm really trying my hardest to follow his rules he always thinks I'm questioning him when I'm asking a question because I'm learning and don't always understand something, today I snapped at him and told him girls and boys can be friends without it meaning anything, and as you can imagine he hit the roof again, and told me I'm being punished, and that my questions are bratty behaviour. Although he is always so serious about everything.
I feel he doesnt trust me at all, he asked me about candle play and I told him no because I had been in a house fire before in the early hours of the morning by arson, so i do not feel comfortable messing around with fire in my home, I had 3 therapists for this as we had no smoke alarms at the time and was very lucky to have survived as I had lost absolutely everything. And he said that he understood completely but because of the way I went about telling him and did not tell him at the start of the relationship I get a strike (has a 3 strike rule).
I don't really know what I'm asking here, I'm not sure how I can get him to trust me when I've been nothing but honest with him? Do you think maybe he has some jealousy issues? He's poly which is I think is fine with me, I did bring this up af the start and he told him he had 2 other subs and dropping both of them as he won't see them, but I know he does see one of them as he always travels to where she lives, but why is he aloud to talk to other girls but I can't talk to guys even if it's just as a friend? I've never met someone so serious he's not patient with me at all, is this normal?
I'm so sorry this is long, so if you did read, I want to thankyou all. And thankyou all for the replies.
I should start with, as a single mother who works full time and takes care of an autistic 5 year old daily and the up keep of my home, my sons dad is not around, I've not dated anyone as I've been working on myself getting my career going to provide a good life for the both of us, I make all the decisions in my daily life, so its been very hard for me to adjust to a 24/7 dynamic although this is now what I want and been educating myself on BeDeeSeM and been asking questions where I don't know.
My daddy dom is really making this difficult for me at the start of our relationship, I was asking lots of questions, I also have learning difficulties so for me the best way for me to understand something is for someone to actually explain it to me. He told me and quote 'your questions are loaded' and when I told him that I like questions and he said he didn't and to 'stop questioning him' which I don't even realise that I do.
A few weeks ago I made plans to have my little cousin for the evening, he hit the roof and told me how disappointed he was in me because he was meant to be coming over that day and yet he hadn't planned it with me and had no idea that he wanted to see me, though when I said I would try and cancel he told me there's no point and that I'll be punished for it.
Another time, he told me that I had to bin all my underwear that I wore for other guys and when I told him I didn't have any because I've not had sex he told me he did not believe me, he seemed very shocked at this but between my son, my dog (hyperactive 1 year old puppy dalmation) who both requires alot of attention, and with my dogs training also i didn't have time and I also wanted to focus on myself
Going on to friends, I'll start this one with my dog trainer who's a women anyways, he asked me if my trainer was a guy, which even if she was I don't get what the problem is as she is helping me, aswell as dog Agility sessions. Infact any guy I talk to he doesn't like it, I can't go to anyone's house without his permission, guys houses are completely off limits, fine that's not really a problem but when I told him that I cook with this guy, we volunteer Tuesdays on my days off to feed mouths of elderly/adults/children he had to know who he was when I talk to him, when he checks in, and actually he's one of my best friends that I do trust either my who life if it came down to it, and has been there in my darkest days, but I'm now forbidden to talk to me, he sees me as a little sister and I for him as a big brother and even though he's gay I'm still not aloud to talk to him without permission, little inevitable when we volunteer together.
He has to know where I am all hours and I have to be alone in the evenings when my son Is in bed. If I'm being completely honest I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells, this is difficult as it is and even though I'm really trying my hardest to follow his rules he always thinks I'm questioning him when I'm asking a question because I'm learning and don't always understand something, today I snapped at him and told him girls and boys can be friends without it meaning anything, and as you can imagine he hit the roof again, and told me I'm being punished, and that my questions are bratty behaviour. Although he is always so serious about everything.
I feel he doesnt trust me at all, he asked me about candle play and I told him no because I had been in a house fire before in the early hours of the morning by arson, so i do not feel comfortable messing around with fire in my home, I had 3 therapists for this as we had no smoke alarms at the time and was very lucky to have survived as I had lost absolutely everything. And he said that he understood completely but because of the way I went about telling him and did not tell him at the start of the relationship I get a strike (has a 3 strike rule).
I don't really know what I'm asking here, I'm not sure how I can get him to trust me when I've been nothing but honest with him? Do you think maybe he has some jealousy issues? He's poly which is I think is fine with me, I did bring this up af the start and he told him he had 2 other subs and dropping both of them as he won't see them, but I know he does see one of them as he always travels to where she lives, but why is he aloud to talk to other girls but I can't talk to guys even if it's just as a friend? I've never met someone so serious he's not patient with me at all, is this normal?
I'm so sorry this is long, so if you did read, I want to thankyou all. And thankyou all for the replies.