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Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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By KayB
#58265
Hi there! My name's Kay, I found out 6 months ago I’m a little based involuntarily on anxiety, and voluntarily when I need to escape life for a bit. I have trouble regressing on my own, or when anxiety attacks come on, regressing in the moment. I have no official caregiver who can help me. Anyone have any advice?
#58266
Therapy and self-care.

Using regression as a form of escapism isn’t the answer. Get into therapy. If it isn’t helping then seek out a different therapist until someone actually helps you. You deserve to be helped, not to live forever hiding and trying to get away from your very real problems.

The anxiety, panic attacks, depression, or whatever else that you are literally suffering through comes from something that needs real help. You don’t deserve to suffer or live in fear that you’ll be subjected to a sudden bout of suffering again and again.

Regressing isn’t going to make the bad stuff go away. It isn’t going to make your trauma any better. Escaping reality is not the answer you need.

You don’t need a caregiver to be yourself. Don’t seek out a relationship before you’ve done the work on yourself that you desperately need. A caregiver won’t fix what’s hurt, only you can in therapy.
By Deleted User 71056
#58268
i don’t think regression should be used as escapism. i use little items and activities as a way to help cope with my mental health so i do understand the desire though. i personally don’t age regress, but the activities can be helping as a form of self care to help me cope with the immense feelings i’m dealing with at times. i’d honestly suggest talking to a therapist as well as allowing yourself to learn what injuries your inner child has experienced and learning how to help that part of yourself heal. For example the main reasons i color, draw, game, or cuddle my stuffies is because my inner child never got to do those things without stress as a kid as i was always in survival mode, and now my partner encourages them in me because they are great self soothing mechanisms that let me feel safe because i’ve done the work in therapy to know what i need to self sooth as my own self care.
#58269
I have spoken with my therapist since I realized, and yeah…he suggested reaching out to other folks in the community in the first place. For me it's a matter of like, I have a lot going on, it’s kinda scary. So I involuntarily start to regress sometimes when adult life is just too much, I guess would be a better way of putting it.
#58276
KayB wrote: 1 year ago I have spoken with my therapist since I realized, and yeah…he suggested reaching out to other folks in the community in the first place. For me it's a matter of like, I have a lot going on, it’s kinda scary. So I involuntarily start to regress sometimes when adult life is just too much, I guess would be a better way of putting it.
You feel your life is to the point that it’s too much and scary at times? And your therapist agreed that regressing, including involuntarily, to childlike states was the way to handle it? And suggested you ask a non-therapy group online how you can do it more often? I’m floored.

So, I think regressing as a way of self-expression at times and finding it relaxing or soothing is great, but when you start using it to mask mental illness, or it is a part of your mental illness, then it’s best to use real therapy. Regression can never replace good therapy. Always having to hide from reality on a whim and still manage the consequences of that sounds exhausting and that’s not fair to you!

No decent therapist is going to promote escapism or suggest you turn to an online group to help you better escape during episodes of mental illness. Involuntary regression especially is a very serious concern.
For example, panic attacks are mental health crisis’ that impact your daily life and normal functioning as an adult, and should not be met with the idea of trying to become a helpless child or submitting to the sudden onset of feeling like a helpless child. A therapist who promotes that should have their licenses revoked. That isn’t safe. It does not benefit the patient. There is no progress being made to get you back to a functional state and reduce recurrence.

It’s like hitting a big rock in the middle of a road you need to travel but then you just stop and sit there in front of it, not trying to go around it or over it because it looks so big and daunting but you act as if the rock will eventually move itself if you do nothing. Maybe taking that little rest feels right but it doesn’t help you get to where you’re going if you just sit there, waiting for the rock to move. The rock will still be there. The rock won’t move itself. When you open your eyes again after a rest the rock will still be in front of you. If you run away and come back later the rock will still be there. A therapist should be helping you navigate past this rock.

Involuntary regression as an adult is not normal and indicates a pretty serious mental illness that needs treatment. Something is wrong, and not being managed well. Even further though, littlespace is not therapy and cannot replace the resolution one can gain from actual therapy, and the CGL community is not a mental health support network and hasn’t been trained to deal with mental illness. Being Little is not a form of a mental illness and shouldn’t impact your capabilities to perform as an adult. I can’t believe they’re neglecting your mental health like this by shoving you off to random people on the internet to encourage escapism.

It may not be the answer you want but it’s the answer you need, you need a different therapist if what you’re saying is true. I’m sorry but find someone who is doing their job and can actually help you. You are important and that includes your mental health so please reach out to a professional who actually does want to help you get better so you don’t feel overwhelmed or scared by your life any more.
#58290
I think a big concern here is that your regression is involuntary. That's not a coping mechanism, that's something that's happening to you. Your therapist should be concerned about that. Escape from reality is well and good at times, but if it's not something you can pull yourself out of when you need to be in the real world again, it's going to cause problems for you. Your safety and mental health are so important, and you need to express this clearly to your therapist: you regress involuntarily, you need help to make sure this doesn't keep happening, and if they're at a loss, can they refer you to someone else?

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