[Cari]

Hi... Until now for me little was doing good things for myself like making little dinner and watching a cartoon movie, sucking my thump, relaxing listening to praise audios, and basically letting go. But since my personal life became a little chaotic, I'm 20 and living for the first time alone in another country apart from my family, and this feeling of needing someone stronger is now so often.
I have never been in a serious relationship. I can't say I know my physically intimate self 100% either. But I really want a DDlg relationship, like, so bad I may cry just imaging it, most of the time I want them for cuddles and to be vulnerable with. But I'm afraid that if I start to date and try to find a daddy they could take advantage of me. I really just don't want to be alone, I'm tired and want comfort, play, not to be strong and be little with someone. I don't know if having a daddy will solve what I'm feeling. I can't find another way to describe what I want other than a daddy. I am a mess. Has someone else felt like this before? How did you figure it out without a partner? ((

[Motherly]

I think the real question you should answer for yourself is: am I ready to be in a relationship?

There’s a lot of pressure in this community to find a Caregiver or a Little because supposedly that other person will make life be something fantastical. It’s easy to get swept up into believing you need that other person or that all of your unhappy feelings or experiences are because you don’t have that other person yet. These rumors aren’t true though. A Caregiver/Little partnership is a real relationship that is a give-and-take from both sides. So, try not to get so down on yourself from the community pressure to partner. Take your time and keep in mind that it’s a relationship just like any other relationship but just with a different way of saying, “I love you,” at times. You don’t rush into a relationship just because you want to be hugged and kissed regularly, but those are perks to desire when it comes to finding a partner. The same applies to these relationships—you don’t rush to find a partner just because you want someone to microwave you some dino chicken nuggets and plop them down in front of Beauty and the Beast twice a week.

So, I’m sure you know that having a Daddy takes work on your end too. A Daddy takes care of his Little as an expression of love and the Littles presence alone doesn’t mean the love is being given back. It’s kind of like any relationship in that way. You can’t only just receive showers of love and expect that your quiet smile is truly enough to always make your partner feel loved in return.

I think if you feel ready for a romance then it makes sense to put up a dating ad and talk to a few people to try to find someone for yourself who will be your Daddy too.

All relationships do have the potential to hurt you. It isn’t just in this community, it’s a fact of life. It’s a risk we all take each time we start dating because it’s only fair that we emotionally invest in our partners in return. The reward of being in a good partnership with someone who cares for and about you, who helps you to make your successes, who celebrates your achievements with you, and who cherishes the love you give back to them as something irreplaceable is worth the hardships along the way of finding it when you’re ready.

You reduce your risk of being hurt by being patient. You take a couple of months to get to know someone before committing yourself into a relationship with them. You look for and listen to red flags, and that means having the courage to walk away when you feel like a relationship with this person wouldn’t be right for you. In this community, you start by asking a lot of basic questions, and you build off of these into actual conversations, not just roleplay scenes because something sounds exciting in the moment. You must be patient. You must make it your goal to truly get to know this person.

You’re not bad for feeling like you want to be loved, to feel special for someone, or to want someone to spend your time with in a deeper way. I think that’s pretty normal. I think that’s very human. I think we all get to a place where we say, “I’m having a decent life and I’m doing all of the things that make me happy…but I do wish I had someone here to do these things with me and to share in my life experiences.”

So, if it’s that you’re finding that lonely feeling to be too much now then maybe it’s time to find a partner. If you don’t feel ready just yet for a relationship then that’s okay, and it’s probably a good time to just invest this time in getting ready by reading some relationship books or asking questions.

You know yourself best. If you’re ready to try a relationship then it’s really okay to try to find someone. If you feel uneasy about it too then that’s okay because you’re not powerless here and you can get ready for one if you spend a little time figuring out what you feel you need answered. Either way, I’m sure you’ll find a partner when the time is right for you.

[Elvie]

Hi... Until now for me little was doing good things for myself like making little dinner and watching a cartoon movie, sucking my thump, relaxing listening to praise audios, and basically letting go. But since my personal life became a little chaotic, I'm 20 and living for the first time alone in another country apart from my family, and this feeling of needing someone stronger is now so often.
I have never been in a serious relationship. I can't say I know my physically intimate self 100% either. But I really want a DDlg relationship, like, so bad I may cry just imaging it, most of the time I want them for cuddles and to be vulnerable with. But I'm afraid that if I start to date and try to find a daddy they could take advantage of me. I really just don't want to be alone, I'm tired and want comfort, play, not to be strong and be little with someone. I don't know if having a daddy will solve what I'm feeling. I can't find another way to describe what I want other than a daddy. I am a mess. Has someone else felt like this before? How did you figure it out without a partner? ((

Obviously I am not you, so what's true for me may not be true for you, but I can only speak from my experience here and hope it's of some use to you.

In my experience, looking to a relationship to fix something you're unhappy about in your life doesn't go well. For me, it put unfair expectations on them, and it made me unhealthily obsessed with keeping the relationship, even before it properly started. I also ended up irreparably damaging some really good friendships that way. I have a lot of regrets. That doesn't mean that's how it would work out for YOU but it's also a possibility.

Having another person be what makes your life "good" also gives them WAY too much power over you, I think. I know I found myself willing to put up with a lot of things I normally wouldn't just because I thought I couldn't be happy without them. Which was ironic because I wasn't happy then either.

Trying to find a relationship for the express purpose of fixing a problem has not worked out well for me and I would advise against it. But you aren't me! Good luck figuring out what's right for you!