- 2 years ago
#57625
This isn't really a problem I want solved or anything, just like...wondering if anyone else ever feels like this I guess?
The only interaction I get with people who identify as littles or caregivers or whathaveyou is online (this was true before COVID but now I definitely don't see that changing!), and while everyone I meet is very nice to me, I have trouble relating to or connecting with them.
Most of the people I come across are using online spaces to show off their little outfits or talk about their daddies/relationships and how they wish they could regress 24/7 and live like a little one full time, and I just can't relate to that to the point where I feel kind of weird about it.
Am I really the only one who just, like...wants to take an hour out of the day or whatever to vibe in this headspace and then go on and do other things? I have no desire for a caregiver - which is fortunate because my partner has no interest in it. She's supportive and even indulgent of me but it's not really something she relates to. I'm very used to self-regulating, having been regressing since I was literally a child myself. (And as a child I preferred to be by myself a lot of the time, so I suppose some things never change!)
Likewise my "littlespace" experiences seem so different than everyone else's. I don't "fully" regress - if I'm sitting there reading Berenstain Bears books and realize "oh crap the rent is due!" I'm gonna drop everything and write that check real quick because I WILL forget again. Part of it is that my mother lives with me and she has no real respect for my personal bubble or time - in her mind she does but she doesn't quite understand that being interrupted nonstop throughout the course of the day is very aggravating for me, so she thinks I'm just in a bad mood all the time for no reason. But I'm also just used to always having to keep reality in the back of my mind at all times. It'd be nice to feel like I didn't have to but I'm also not sure I would be much different even if given the opportunity. My mind is ALWAYS going 300 mph anyway. Not good at settling down and just existing.
Other people describe actually feeling like a child, writing and coloring with less control, altered speech patterns and vocabulary, memory loss/fuzzy memories of regression...that's not what I experience. The ONLY difference I've ever observed in myself, because I spend so much time writing or texting, is a "looser" approach with grammar and vocabulary, which I would assume comes from feeling more relaxed and less concerned about appearing "smart" or "like a functional adult"-
As an aside, I'm disabled and neurodivergent - ADHD that is not medicated currently - so I spend a lot of energy overcompensating to make myself appear on the level of others, although my disabilities are not intellectual people still make assumptions that if you can't do things like have a job you must be stupid or incompetent...and it's hard to not internalize that sometimes) and also yes from feeling more childlike. -
But it's fairly minor, I'm the only person who really notices I think, my partner doesn't and she knows me best, so...and I suppose I've had most of the same friends for most of my life now, so they're all probably used to it even if they don't register it as anything more than me being less uptight, haha. But I really think no one even notices - which is good for me because I'd rather keep this separate!
I also have no real interest in things like pacifiers - makes sense since I never feel quite THAT young - and while I don't have a specific regression age, in terms of developmental milestones and interests I could put myself anywhere from 5-6 to a tween depending on the day. Meanwhile most littles I meet seem to be in the 0-4 range, which again makes it hard for me to relate. Don't get me wrong I love that they have places where they can be open with pacifiers, onesies and diapers! I just feel like the only one who isn't into that stuff either!
I get that none of the external stuff is "necessary" but I do wish I could fit in with others better. Can anyone else relate?
The only interaction I get with people who identify as littles or caregivers or whathaveyou is online (this was true before COVID but now I definitely don't see that changing!), and while everyone I meet is very nice to me, I have trouble relating to or connecting with them.
Most of the people I come across are using online spaces to show off their little outfits or talk about their daddies/relationships and how they wish they could regress 24/7 and live like a little one full time, and I just can't relate to that to the point where I feel kind of weird about it.
Am I really the only one who just, like...wants to take an hour out of the day or whatever to vibe in this headspace and then go on and do other things? I have no desire for a caregiver - which is fortunate because my partner has no interest in it. She's supportive and even indulgent of me but it's not really something she relates to. I'm very used to self-regulating, having been regressing since I was literally a child myself. (And as a child I preferred to be by myself a lot of the time, so I suppose some things never change!)
Likewise my "littlespace" experiences seem so different than everyone else's. I don't "fully" regress - if I'm sitting there reading Berenstain Bears books and realize "oh crap the rent is due!" I'm gonna drop everything and write that check real quick because I WILL forget again. Part of it is that my mother lives with me and she has no real respect for my personal bubble or time - in her mind she does but she doesn't quite understand that being interrupted nonstop throughout the course of the day is very aggravating for me, so she thinks I'm just in a bad mood all the time for no reason. But I'm also just used to always having to keep reality in the back of my mind at all times. It'd be nice to feel like I didn't have to but I'm also not sure I would be much different even if given the opportunity. My mind is ALWAYS going 300 mph anyway. Not good at settling down and just existing.
Other people describe actually feeling like a child, writing and coloring with less control, altered speech patterns and vocabulary, memory loss/fuzzy memories of regression...that's not what I experience. The ONLY difference I've ever observed in myself, because I spend so much time writing or texting, is a "looser" approach with grammar and vocabulary, which I would assume comes from feeling more relaxed and less concerned about appearing "smart" or "like a functional adult"-
As an aside, I'm disabled and neurodivergent - ADHD that is not medicated currently - so I spend a lot of energy overcompensating to make myself appear on the level of others, although my disabilities are not intellectual people still make assumptions that if you can't do things like have a job you must be stupid or incompetent...and it's hard to not internalize that sometimes) and also yes from feeling more childlike. -
But it's fairly minor, I'm the only person who really notices I think, my partner doesn't and she knows me best, so...and I suppose I've had most of the same friends for most of my life now, so they're all probably used to it even if they don't register it as anything more than me being less uptight, haha. But I really think no one even notices - which is good for me because I'd rather keep this separate!
I also have no real interest in things like pacifiers - makes sense since I never feel quite THAT young - and while I don't have a specific regression age, in terms of developmental milestones and interests I could put myself anywhere from 5-6 to a tween depending on the day. Meanwhile most littles I meet seem to be in the 0-4 range, which again makes it hard for me to relate. Don't get me wrong I love that they have places where they can be open with pacifiers, onesies and diapers! I just feel like the only one who isn't into that stuff either!
I get that none of the external stuff is "necessary" but I do wish I could fit in with others better. Can anyone else relate?