[kioxic]

We're both in a romantic relationship and I told him I was a little. He then decided, okay, sure, i'll be your caregiver. I was very happy since i've been wanting a cg for a while and I finally had one.

Today he said he didn't want to be a cg anymore but still wants to be with me romantically. I asked him why and he said he wasn't comfortable with it anymore and didn't want to be a part of it. I respect his feelings, but I still feel really sad and it's almost as bad as dumping me.

Have any of you went through this before? And if so, how did you deal with it?

[Deleted User 68128]

Yes I been through this too, it hurts alot when someone you love so much cant accept all of you. Me tink you very kind and caring to respect his feelings even though its hurting you, just remember what you want and need is just as important. For me i just had to accept i was little, i cant hide it or change it or stop it. I had to realize lil me is just as important and valuable as the rest of me and to enter relationships only if they understood this first. Being in a relationship and then dealing with your lil side only when it comes up is bound to be more difficult then if you seek a relationship where both of you love and cherish all of each other from the start. It will hurt for a while but you will be ok and me hope you find that special someone who makes you feel happy and not sad and loves all of you for who you are

[RobertSmith]

How lucky was he to have such a great opportunity in life to have found someone who wants a DDLG arrangement? He just couldn't see his good fortune.

I did some sugar baby dating and I realized after a while I really wanted a DDLG arrangement.
The vast majority of sugar babies I dated lied about what they wanted. I was very clear about what I wanted, but they lied in order to be financially supported.

I discovered the same problem when hiring employees. The vast majority of applicants will lie about their skill sets to get hired.

I'd like to ask you a question. As a little, did you give him a specific list of your expectations and do you mind sharing those expectations?

[Motherly]

The other responses are really disheartening, to say the least. I’m going to assume your relationship has many more compatibility points than acknowledged or direct regression or acts of caregiving. I think it’s be a bad choice to throw away a relationship over one point of incompatibility that truly isn’t necessary in most partnerships.

Sometimes when people feel they’re not being heard or that a situation is out of control they use “big words” to try to be heard. Since your partner previously expressed the desire to provide you with caregiving and enjoys your personality (which likely naturally has some quirks of being a Little) then they may have just been using big, bold statements to try to be heard.

I never wanted to…

I can’t at all anymore…

I hate…

I’m scared by…

I’m miserable because of…

I won’t ever, anymore…

The community has a really serious problem. It goes like this:

A person discovers they’re a Little. They want to outwardly express this personality trait more directly because the community says it’s basically a requirement to roleplay it out. Community members exaggerate how supposedly important it is to have a Caregiver and how much that person can enhance or provide regressive experiences—which are supposedly most fulfilling to have as a Little. The Little either finds a Caregiver or their partner agrees to provide caregiving—which is a romantic expression of love by a Caregiver. The Little begins assuming more and more regression time and experiences, seeking the ultimate experience everyone else claims to be having with their Caregivers. The Little never realizes that this caregiving and catering to their regressive fantasies are acts of love and are, for the most part, selfless. The Little believes everything is great because they’re “free” to be Little practically all of the time with their Caregiver. The Little even feels somewhat entitled to it once it’s established. The Caregiver becomes burned out, feeling unappreciated and like their acts of love are being taken for granted, especially once the Little is acting out being little/regressed very frequently. The Caregiver quietly worries they’re being used, abused, or are just not loved in return because acts of regression are not acts of selfless love like how caregiving is. The Caregiver feels extremely guilty that they’re becoming disinterested or even depressed by their partner elaborating on and exaggerating their regressive trait through live action or online roleplay. They know how happy their partner is when they act out their regressive feelings and desires, and it’s not that they want to take it away but they want to feel loved too. The Caregiver may act rash, potentially even ending the relationship, but often by pulling away (distancing) or making big, bold statements that they no longer feel happy or comfortable with providing caregiving. The Little is confused because it never dawned on them that acknowledging, appreciating and showing gratitude, and returning love in a way the Caregiver receives as love are mandatory to keep what they have with their partner. The community seems to believe that the simple presence of an adult acting like a child is enough for a Caregiver to feel cherished and that’s just not true or realistic. The Little chooses to ask online for help in figuring out why their partner use to like caregiving but no longer wants to do it, and the Little is met with being told that regardless of how well everything else may be going in the relationship that they should just dump their partner for “not accepting” their little trait.

Caregivers often do not realize this issue themselves, and it feels extremely embarrassing or confusing for many who experience it. It can be really conflicting to want to shower your partner in love and affections but be met with no recognition or response for your efforts. After a while if just feel depressing, and nobody wants to stay in a situation that makes them feel sad.

It’s possible that this occurred with your partner. This happening is not a good reason to end the relationship because it can be recovered once a Little becomes aware and prioritizes their partner feeling appreciated and loved in return. If I were you I would consider all of what I’ve said before making drastic decisions.

Being a Little is a personality type, yes, but you do not need it acknowledged or catered to when seeking more expressions. I understand why you would want someone supportive to participate because, well, simply put everyone likes being encouraged to do what they like to do. You don’t have to have a deeply immersive experience to be a happy, fulfilled Little though so this really may not be as big of a deal as it sounded initially. You don’t need another person to encourage you, facilitate regressive experiences, or even acknowledge when you’re feeling more little. Your relationship was built on more than this acknowledgment and your partner expresses their love for you through other means. You should cherish that love too and, of course, also not take it for granted.

I hope I’ve said something helpful here. I’ve linked 3 resources in my reply for you to check out too. Please do take the time to go over those because I think they could be super helpful in understanding what may be happening and getting back to a better place together.

[kioxic]

Thank you for your advice! As I read this, it gives me a new perspective to what may be going on and really said a lot of helpful things