Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#56725
Dear CareGivers, what you do when your little is hard to punish? I will try to set an example. I will set myself as a little, who would like to get punished when I misbehave, and now, the problems are:
1. I have a ZERO hitting policy. No matter how much I love my CG, no matter how much I would like to remain silent, I can't. So spankings are (Certainly) out of the picture.
2. Writing lines - ummm... I am a Pokemon Master, whoever knows what a grinding is should really know writing lines for someone who is used to dull activities is plain useless.
3. Corner time - again, a CG might send me to corner, I would happily oblige out of sheer interest in that, but point is - you say where I am, not what am I thinking about. So I might think about toplane matchups (League of Legends) instead of what I did to earn myself corner time, completely missing your point and rendering your punishment - useless.
4. Taking electronics - I have unique defense system against this. I actually grew up in a very healthy family (why I consider being a little is because then I will not be judged over my cartoon amazement, and I loooove cuddles), and that family calls me a lot. If my mom calls, and my CG says I am in detention, may God have mercy on her (my CG's) soul, amen!
5. Taking away privileges - the point with this is that I work, and have my own money, and will never under any circumstances quit my job or become economically dependent on my CG. The only privilege you can take away is that you do not allow me to touch you for several hours... I do not care, if you talk to me, that is more then enough. Unless my CG would be completely silent, without touching, for several hours, that would hurt.
6. The only way how anyone can punish me is to tell me they are disappointed at me, that I do not meet their expectations, that I am not working hard enough, but then that is why I even consider being a little, in relationships I had I was told such cold, merciless words...
7. The idea for a punishment for me came from a genius writer at Wattpad, with title Three's Company, where he/she sets up a restraints scene and one character drops some spicy sauce on the tongue of another. That would be (albeit very cruel) the only way I can think of punishing me.
So, take even me for example, How would you (as experienced CG's) punish me?
#56726
Punishments are a part of BDSM and not necessarily CGL. You will want to ask these questions to the BDSM community.

We’re not here to write you your own personal erotic story.

Caregiver/Little partnerships by themselves are not Dominant/submissive partnerships. Caregiving is not about dominating or punishing. There are members of the CGL community that are also members of the BDSM community that may incorporate their BDSM desires into their relationship though. That’s okay but that is not something most CGL couples do.

The CGL partnership exchanges respect while also nurturing a partner’s childlike qualities in a way that, ultimately, provides them with ongoing reassurance and stability.

An import keyword here for an adult with a childlike personality is nurture—not domination, not control. Regressors desire to be treated as children to some degrees, and domination isn’t something a good parent does to a child they care about. Children by default do not want or like to be punished, and corporal punishment is see as bad, lazy parenting as well as harmful to the mental growth and development of the child. So, by default, the CGL community isn’t necessarily involved in punishments (or funishments, as they’d be more appropriately labeled since in the BDSM community punishments are typically a desired part of a sexually charged scene).

A good parent does not “control” or “dominate” their child. They help their child to be respectful of others and learn to behave appropriately based on the environment immediately around them. A parent tries to control outside harms. A parent tries to control which situations their child must face. The parent works to control themselves to exercise patience for their child and to prove as a role model. A parent does not control a child. Children are not puppets, toys, or pets that are mindlessly manipulated or dominated to submit to the will of their parents. In terms of desiring to replicate the parent/child bond this is important to know.

Regressors don’t need or want to “submit”. Regressors want to be like children. They are childlike in various ways. They want to be nurtured as children. The regressive part of them doesn’t want Daddy or Mommy to dominate and control them, they don’t want to be restricted into having no consciousness or capabilities of their own, they want Daddy or Mommy to care for them as a parent cares for a child. They want Their Caregiver to see that they still have growing to do in similar ways of that of a biological child. They aren’t incapable, they just need reassurance and to be nurtured.

Littles (again, not speaking about personal, individual BDSM interests) do not need to be controlled, just as children do not need to be controlled. Yes, there is guidance involved but there is no black-and-white structure involved where the Caregiver truly gets all say while the Little willingly, blindly ignores their own desires, thoughts, opinions, and feelings. Even children value being consulted, being able to feel freedom of choice, and receiving praise for decisions they made with and without assistance.

Not all Littles want to be locked under the unrelenting control of a Caregiver, truly stripped of all capabilities above an approximated regressed age, and punished for making judgements that are ultimately better or at least of equal value to the situation presented. In all truth, I don’t believe most Littles honestly could live in such a state where they have absolutely no voice. That isn’t being treated as a child, that’s being treated as an object. Even children have valuable opinions and perspectives. Even children “get their way” well after a parent has initially said no. It’s just a part of that type of care and nurturing of that type of person.

In all truth, we, again, know that majority of the punishments inflicted toward a Little is a part of a scene. A scene is exaggerated and acted out. After all, most parents do not resort to even spanking for trivial disobedience such as sneaking a cookie or staying up 20 minutes past bedtime. Scenes of punishments for Littles are related to sexual desires (bleeding over into being BDSM interests) or stress-relief (psychologically documented that many animals, including humans, seek out or inflict physical harm to themselves for the endorphin reaction that results in endocrine exhaustion).

Children who are overly punished or have their opinions constantly ignored become fearful. They lose confidence. They become resentful of their parents. They feel unvalued, unloved. None of these things are things Littles desire to be replicated.

Most Littles in a typical, everyday state do not seek punishment from their Caregiver. Most do not seek to be intentionally defiant as to cause genuine distress of their Caregiver. A child is punished for doing something of defiance, intentionally causing distress or harm. A child cries because they don’t like, and did not want, punishment, and often because they are remorseful for causing unhappiness of their parent. If a Little is behaving often as a child then they aren’t seeking punishment nearly as often as BDSM roleplay scenes would make it seem. Periodically, maybe, but as a typical daily or weekly occurrence outside of sexual motivation (a BDSM “scene”) or as a form of self-harm (“stress relief”) is not very common at all.

I would argue that most Littles want to be nurtured. They want to be cared for and grown, to have development into a stage that no longer feels bizarre, pressured, and generally uncomfortable. Being dominated, controlled, and punished can be fun for BDSM scenes for a Little, but it’s uncommon that it’s the life they desire to be carried out without end.

Please ask your BDSM questions to the BDSM community. Nobody here is going to write you a fanfic fantasy to help you figure out what BDSM scenes sound most enticing to you. We do not write or post stimulating material here. We are not sexually-based identities. Stories on wattpad are just romance novel type stories (that, sure, may involve BDSM fantasies), are not real, and do not reflect accurate CGL identities or partnerships. Do not rely on wattpad to give you an accurate depiction of our personality types or realistic intimate interactions.
#56727
So, there are CGL relationship completely without punishments? Wow, that's amazing... that is why I am here, I am familiar with BDSM scene, but this is very new to me. Thanks for your help in my discovery! You are amazing person! And no, I am not writing a fanfic story, I am figuring am I a little. Because the way you sound about all this topic, I even might be a little. Sure, I would be surprised very much, but, hey, it is what it is...
#56728
CGL is not about punishments. It is not Domination and submission. It is not BDSM. It is not sex.

Most healthy, long-term, functioning CGL relationships do not even involve punishment.

It is based on personality traits.

Being a Little is a person’s personality. Not their sexual desires. It is who they are as a person.

Being a Caregiver is a person’s personality. Not their sexual desires. It is who they are as a person.

BDSM is not a personality type or trait. It is sexually-driven behavior or fantasy. It is not who a person is as an individual. It is something they do that sexually stimulates them.

The ideal CGL relationship bond often mimics typical parent/child bonding experiences and behaviors. That does not include BDSM.

It is not based on sexual preferences or sexual desires.

It has nothing to do with BDSM, including discipline or punishment.

People with these personality traits may also engage in BDSM but that isn’t because they’re a Caregiver or a Little.

No Caregiving is based around punishment. A person who identifies as a Caregiver could also be involved in BDSM and like to perform scenes that include punishment but this isn’t because they’re a Caregiver. Caregiving has nothing to do with punishing others. Caregivers do not focus on punishments.

I wish you the best of luck on your personal discoveries. :hugs:
#56733
It is far better to know yourself and your desires very well prior before pursuing an emotionally charged, romantic relationship. Using others for your self-exploration isn’t the right way. CGL relationships are real, romantic relationships, not games.

It seems like you have a lot of learning about yourself to do. I would not recommend dating for quite awhile.

You should be asking questions in groups like you have been here. You should be reading educational articles about CGL instead of erotic stories if you want to learn about these people or try to identify if you are actually a Little. You do not need to be seeking a relationship in effort to get your questions answered.

No decent Mommy type seeking a relationship with a Little wants to be used by someone unsure if they even want a Mommy. Logically, it would not be a reasonable idea to emotionally invest in someone who isn’t even sure what they want.

You may very well just be infatuated with some wattpad stories you’ve read. It seems to me that most of what you’ve been talking about here isn’t being a Little at all, but, rather, just interested in a few specific BDSM scenes. You may want to consider the likelihood that you aren’t a Little but just like reading erotic stories with characters who are Little.

I think it’s very possible that you are only excited about finding a new type of enticing story recently and wish you could have that replicated in your life since it sounds so unique and thrilling. It sounds like it was a well written story and did well with it’s intention to excite and entertain. I do not think that means you actually identify similarly to one of the fictional characters. We all have stories we temporarily become infatuated with so there’s no shame in that. The reality is that just because we enjoy a written work doesn’t mean we are those characters.

Our educational resources are here:

www.littlespaceonline.com/viewforum.php?f=88

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