Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#56129
Hi , I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and we are doing pretty good.He knows that I am a little but feels uncomfortable about being my caregiver and even for me it feels weird. He accept it , but doesn’t really wanna partake with it. That’s why I was wondering if a relationship with a caregiver can stay friendly and not a couple. He also would be fine with it ,we already talked about it. I really love my boyfriend, but also want to have a caregiver....so is it possible?
#56130
No, not really.

What is it that you really want from a Caregiver?

Someone who loves your quirkiness so much that they stop doing other things they wanted to do and choose to sit down with you and cuddle you while you watch cartoons? That’s an emotional expression of love.

Someone who loves you so much that they think about your happiness first and foremost so they go out of their way to prepare you foods and snacks that are your favorites? That’s an emotional expression of love.

Someone who loves you so much that they only want you to be healthy so they dedicate special time to creating you a schedule or rules, and spend their own energy monitoring you to help you stay on track so that you can be happy? That’s an emotional expression of love.

Someone that will help baby you and treat you as their child, and make you feel special because they give you cues that mean they love when you’re acting like their child? That’s an emotional expression of love.

Someone who sets aside time to spend with you while you express yourself in a way that other people don’t normally get to see from you? That’s an emotional expression of love.

Someone who will emotionally support you? That’s an emotional expression of love.

For someone to act like they love you, but not actually love you? :derp:

Emotional-based friends-with-benefits doesn’t exist. That negates the entire notion of getting “more perks” from a person deemed “just a friend” without having to give more emotional care and form a closer attachment.

CGL is intimate. There is an attachment. There is a special bond.

It’s deeper than having a friend hang out with you on Friday nights. It’s deeper than having a friend be a listener when you want to rant about what’s got you down. It’s not roleplay when you’re bored and want someone to amuse you in a game of acting and fantasy. It’s a bond incomparable to a friendship.

CGL relationships are all about love. All about feelings! The CGL portion is only an addition onto your romantic relationship. A little ideally feels very special, protected, highly prioritized, and loved by their Caregiver. A Caregiver ideally feels very special, absolutely irreplaceable, needed above all others, and loved most by their Little. CGL is clearly an emotional exchange.

Platonic CGL does not actually, realistically exist in the sense that people may hope. If you don’t have that special, loving emotional bond then why would someone emotionally dedicate themselves to you, prioritizing you, and making you feel special? How do you pretend to love someone, and how do you actually feel loved if you know the other person is only pretending?

Littles don’t need a Caregiver to be able to have a good time in their regression. You won’t miss out by not having your partner participate when you regress. Truthfully, nobody but yourself can help you be or feel little, if that’s who you are.
You either are a little or you’re not. You either want to express these things to or in front of someone or you don’t. The other person realistically has nothing to do with your personality or choices in expressions of it.

Aside, there’s nothing wrong with carrying out a polyamorous relationship, where you have 2 or more partners that you share love and intimacy with regularly. You can have two boyfriends, one of which is your Caregiver, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend, who is also your Caregiver. That may be something to discuss with your current partner if you really want to pursue having the love and devotion of a Caregiver.

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