Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#55806
Recently I met someone who was interested in being my caregiver, since then I have regressed and told them about it but sometimes I feel like they don't like it when I regress? I do tend to become non-verbal during regression and it does get hard to message whenever I'm little, despite that, I feel like they might not be too sure about what to do when I need them (when regressed). Sometimes they do leave me alone or don't answer my messages after a long time and at this point I feel as if they might not like it when I'm regressed. Am I worrying too much about something that isn't actually that bad?
#55808
Maybe a few more open conversations about it could help, especially if they’re new to the dynamic. Perhaps they need you to outright tell them what you’re expecting them to do or say. Maybe they just aren’t creative or the situation isn’t engaging enough in some way. Although, maybe they aren’t so much for online roleplay. Although I’m a Mommy, and I love being a Mommy, I really dislike online RP with my partners!

Whatever it is I feel like talking about it can really help. Ask if you being nonverbal makes them feel unhappy, lost, or even just blank. Ask how they think their little would act and be like. Ask all of the questions so you can be on the same page! You have to know what their expectations are as well as what they want to be happening, right?

I found that talking through situations and scenarios was much easier online than “playing out” or roleplaying online due to the obvious limitations. It felt kind of sad as a Caregiver who was being given all of these signals that I was needed (which was a dream!) but the distance got in the way so the only thing I could do was type or say the same lines over and over (and that just felt...cold?). Parents don’t generally type to their kids who actively need them, you know? I didn’t know how disconnected and unhappy online roleplay made me feel at first though, but it did prevent me from really feeling bonded to the other person since it felt one-sided and so restrictive. It was like, “This is great! This person needs me! But...uh...I literally can’t do anything...uh, oh, yeah, this isn’t real. Ugh, this sucks.”

Perhaps you can lead them into some conversations about “what if” sort of things instead or just freely talk about the more daily life components like:

  • What diapers do you like?
    • Style
    • Brand
    • Print
    • If you could create any design do you have anything in mind that’s be cute or cool?
    • What do you think about reusable cloth diapers?
  • In the morning, would you help me get dressed?
    • Would you pick out my clothes?
    • What sort of clothes would you put me in?
    • I’d love to be able to lift my arms up high and have my shirt pulled over my head again like when I was a kid!
    • Wouldn’t it be fun to go clothes shopping together sometime? We could start a wishlist online at places like Etsy to share when we see something pretty...
  • What do you think could be our lunch routine together?
    • Would you have me sit in a certain spot and wait for you to make the food?
    • Would you have me watch or help you make the food or would I be doing something else, like playing in the other room?
    • Do you think you’d want to try spoon feeding it me?
  • What is a dream date like for you with a little?
  • What would be a dream day with your little?
    • Would they be regressed the whole time?
    • Where would you be or go?
    • Would they be wearing anything extra cute?
    • Would they ask for your help with something in some way?
Try to make a full conversation about these questions. Don’t just ask them and move on. Talk about them! Answer them yourself in the conversation and try to find something to talk about or build off of based on what they say. Make it a fun conversation and try to get really into it. Think about it, dream it up in your head. You can even be like, “Uh huh! And I’d be wearing _____, I bet! Oh, what if we ______ too?! Would you be interested in that too, you think?”

Start wishlists together, and spend time oohing and awwing over the community goods. Create a Pinterest board together. Look at nursery and playroom designs together. Join boards to post and chat together in groups. Share an email that you make together and subscribe to mailing lists for places like Tykables so you can talk about new things and designs coming out. Look at at home craft ideas together, ask your Caregiver to pick one out they’d like to see, and then do it to show them later. It doesn’t all have to be RP to feel Littles and cared about, and it can be more interactive and engaging for your Caregiver.

Maybe you don’t need to fully regress down and stop conversation, retreating into fantasyland. Maybe you can gently regress but continue conversation centered around the future together or what would be happening if you two were physically together. Maybe you can gently regress while doing something a little more with your Caregiver so that they’re not typing or speaking to a lot of silence a lot of the time.

Do make sure that you allow for more non-regressive conversation too. Their adult life is also important to talk about each day. They’re also important so what happens to them, how they feel, and their goals they’re trying to achieve should be things you develop interest in knowing.

You’ll figure it out together. Just keep talking and working together as a team! Finding the happy middle ground might take more work than you thought but it’ll be worth it when it’s figured out.

Enjoy walking your path together! :hugs:
#55810
I agree with admin you should be open and talk about the dynamic with each other and just be gentle with each other especially if you both new like I am

I don't think you're caregiver is put off by the regression they probably just need some time to get used to this side of you they probably know that regression is a very delicate thing and are just trying to take it slow

But just be honest and open with each other and stay safe

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