mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago I wasn't trying to describe as much of correct term or it's history, as much as a common perception of the term. Yes it was an oversimplification...
I understand your intention, but spreading inaccurate information just because it’s simple isn’t justified. Please bother to read my previous post. I read yours, please be respectful and read mine too.
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago On the a chat site servers that got involved with bdsm there was a lot of talking about a type of a sub called a little. There were articles that described...
Our community is not a part or an extension of the BDSM community though. It’s okay if you are or your partnership is a part of that group too but you need to realize that citing a BDSM group about CGL is like seeing a dentist for depression. Maybe the dentist knows some things, and maybe they don’t, but they’re definitely not an expert in that field and should refer you to someone who is more educated about the topic. And, yeah, you can see a dentist and
you can see a psychologist, but for different things.
Please bother to read my post as well as the linked articles about our CGL-based community. See, we have articles too that have been written by multiple people, each with 15+ years in the community. I’m trying really hard to explain that there are two very different groups that exist. We aren’t a blend as a whole. Just stop, breathe, and open your mind to consider what I’m saying.
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago... regression is something that exist in psychology and is used to heal trauma...
This is incorrect based on documented psychology. Please read my post, and follow through to the various linked resources. One article in particular explains that regression therapy
is a mockery in psychology. It isn’t like the movies, and is mostly considered laughable in the psychological field. Even within our own community you will find plenty of Littles who did not have “childhood trauma”, and that sort of by itself proves that this isn’t some “coping mechanism” developed by such unfortunate past experiences.
Please take the time to try to understand truths, even if it’s new to you. It’s important to know what’s right instead of accidentally believing rumor. Rumors might be easier to understand but if they’re wrong they’re just wrong.
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago... ddlg is transphobic and too gender-restricted and thats why shifted to cg/l instead...
That is not at all true. Please, bother to read my post for information about that. CGL didn’t come from DDLG because of transphobia or gender restrictions.
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago Thats exactly why I used bdsm distinction of a lifestyle and a kink. Lifestyle something involved that affects life and relationship and kink as something less involved.
No. No. Lifestyle
is a choice. It’s incorrect wording too for our community. A lifestyle
is what the BDSM group uses to explain they want long, never-ending scene dynamics by choice. Personality traits are not lifestyle choices
. Being a little is not a choice. It just isn’t. Sex scenes and the way you choose to maintain your household are choices. Please, please, please read my post. Please, I’m literally begging you to take just a few moments to read.
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago... that is why I used information and worldview that was common ten years ago.
Okay. You may
be using information from a decade ago but so am I
. I believe you may be using information from BDSM 10 years ago. I am not. I’m using information about our community, from our community, that existed 10+ years ago. There are, and were, two separate groups of people using same terms. I tried really hard to explain that as best as I could. Please
read my post! Please!
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago Bashing people with the book chock full ton of definitions is not a good way to handle such delicate matters.
Nobody is bashing anyone. Knowledge is power
though, and I believe Littles are very capable of learning as well as educating others. Spreading inaccurate, incorrect information doesn’t help to empower others. They can only spread false information then.
I’m not a bad person here. I’m not a villain. Neither are you, of course. I’m extremely passionate about our community though and I want to see people flourish. I
our community! That’s why I chose to step up and try to educate you on multiple misunderstandings and inaccuracies you’ve accidentally shared. By educating others they gain the power to educate people around them. In this case, the OP could really benefit from the history of DDLG versus BDSM so they can understand why their partner doesn’t align with their view of it. From having that understanding they gain the power of conversation with their partner so that they can pass on helpful, accurate information to them.
Please, read my post again without giving me a negative, hateful voice. I’m not an aggressive, angry monster trying to attack you. It’s passion you’ve read, not anger. It’s a very deep love.
The passion of a Mommy is very motherly in tone, I suppose!
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago I cannot imagine how the person would react if instead of saying "I see it less like a kink, but more like a lifestyle" , "can we Daddy try to see it as something more outside the bedroom?"
I would say "it is a personality trait that I cannot control - I just have a need to put myself in a psychological state of a deep regression and sadly Your recent actions make You not the greatest facilitator."
Or some other totally correct stuff.
Okay, it’s okay that you can’t imagine that conversation going well for you, but I can imagine it because I’ve educated multiple people in my past. I understand we disagree on this matter, and I feel like it’s okay that you and I make different choices like this in our personal relationships. Just understand that I’ve “come out” to multiple people, including multiple former partners, in the past about being a Mommy. I’ve corrected some who misunderstood it to be only sex-related. I believe, based on my
experiences, that educating those people is much more effective than anything else, including watering everything down to pretending you had agreed on it being only one way but have recently come to want to try something “new”. Your belief is okay.
I just feel like a person can be honest and educational without being heartless or robotic. Instead of, “it is a personality trait that I cannot control - I just have a need to put myself in a psychological state of a deep regression and sadly Your recent actions make You not the greatest facilitator,
one could say, “I feel like my identity as a little goes so deep, and I think doing things that make me feel young and childlike throughout the day could really help me express who I am better. Right now I feel like we’ve secluded these things to only the bedroom and kind of only sex but I’d like to expand on that to show my personality in other ways too! Could you help me work on being more openly childish every day? This regressive stuff really feels like it’s who I am at my core!” I think a lot of people could take that positively and not be put off, and it offers up a little bit of information without finger pointing or creating hurt feelings.
Anyway, I think we simply both agree the poster here needs to talk with their partner and that is kind of that. The words they choose are personally decided and unique to them, having knowledge of how their partner may be able to understand a different perspective. If they now understand the truth of why some people think DDLG is only a sex thing, and why others disagree entirely, then they understand their partner’s initial perspective better. They can potentially help their partner also understand that there is a second perspective that is common, and that it can cause misunderstandings at times. It’s empowering OP to know these things.
Okay, okay, okay...
Let’s stop hijacking this thread, please. You’re welcome to create a new topic thread if you want to continue or have questions, or you’re also welcome to email me (or even use the contact form
if it’s easier for you) for more one-on-one discussion.
Just, you know...I’m not being hostile. I wasn’t being hostile in trying to educate. Being corrected is not someone coming at you aggressively. I don’t want false information shared around the community, misleading them about our past or how things developed, because I love
our community. I want people to be strong and well. I want the OP to be strong and well. I want you
to be strong and well!
That’s all. That’s really just it. I’m sure you want the same.
Enjoy your path!
mayachan wrote: ↑3 weeks ago
...I did not want to leave anxious little with a wall of text.
I understand you may not have directly pointed to me on this but I know it’s applicable to my responses. I’m really sorry if I’m perceived as walls of text
. I’ve tried really hard for years now to change that but I get so caught up in the passion of the community that I tend to say too much, I guess. Just in case, I am genuinely sorry if it’s offensive that I can’t seem to shut up.