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#55472
aaah i felt this really bad annie... i have depression and anxiety (and possibly adhd) so it's really hard to have a routine even if I know I should... there are times when I try and I may succeed for the first days but it all falls apart and I just end up feeling more frustrated than ever

I just thought I should ask to see if there was anyone like me and maybe draw inspiration from others cause I feel like with a caregiver I'd be able to adhere to a routine better but I don't have one nor am I ready to have one...
but I guess we're all struggling but it's okay :hugs: it'll get better, stay strong annie I'll be trying the same hehe
#55477
*happy dance* I am so glad that worked! I wasn't sure.

Anyways, you gotta look at it this way, at least we got a brain and we can think for ourselves, even if it is harder some days than others.

On the hard days, do something just for you. Read a good book. Have a treat. Take a bubble bath, cuddle a stuffie...what ever makes you happy.

You are special and you deserve it.

:read: :share: :stuffie: :shuff:
#56410
anniesdreaming wrote: 11 months ago I don't and feel like I should. Whenever I try to clean or organize anything at my house I start out with gusto. That lasts for an hour or two and then I get extremely overwhelmed and I have to take a break... but a lot of the time that break will last weeks. Things will then pile up on top of what I had attempted making it seem like I didn't do anything at all. Then I just get more and more stressed out to the point where even thinking of doing any cleaning or organizing sends me into a panic attack... it's just too big :cold:

The hard part for me is that I know if I gave myself rules/chores to adhere to daily that it wouldn't get this bad and I wouldn't have such anxiety over it. But I can't seem to follow any rules for more than a few days before I forget or lose motivation(I have bad diagnosed depression and anxiety disorders). I don't know, it makes me feel inadequate when I can't do basic adult things regularly :craze:

So I guess if we're talking like chores then no I don't have any self imposed rules
I definitely know how this is. This is exactly how I am. I have been in and out of DDLG relationships too, but non of my ex daddies were really good at actually keeping me on track and focused. And because of this, I ended up always feeling inadequate in all my past relationships. I know it may not actually be this way in the other person's mind, but it just comes across like they all think I'm either trying to be a brat or I'm just too much work. I mean, I know I have a lot of growing up to do still. But its hard with my anxiety and depression too. I have weeks where its so hard to even do the bare minimum. I'm on a journey to find someone who really truly understands this and wants to deal with where I am RIGHT NOW. I know I can be better because I've seen myself be better in the past. But its really hard to be the best version of myself when my partner doesn't seem encouraging or really willing to help. I know I seem like a lost cause to most, and sometimes I wonder if there is someone out there who thinks that I'm worth investing into. Because I see all these posts about other littles who really used to struggle but then when they got the right support from their partner, they really were able to flourish. A lot of those littles have ended up being much better mentally because their CG really encouraged them to go to therapy and some even made it a non-negotiable part of the relationship and do couples therapy as well as each doing individual therapy. This all seems fine and dandy, but I have so much traumatized stigma around therapy that I don't think I could make myself go to therapy on my own. I would need my partner to really motivate me to go. And then that just brings me back to wondering if there is even a CG out there who is willing to go through all those types of conversations with me? Truth is, I know I need help and this is my cry out for help. Because I'm so tired of saying "the next relationship will be better" and I end up having to end each and everyone of them because its just not what I need or am looking for. And that happening over and over just makes me wonder if I should even be trying to find my forever daddy. There's a lot that I need, but in all honesty, its all pretty simple stuff. I just feel like a huge burden to the world most days. I get scared that no one will be able to provide for me in the ways that I know I need. I feel too needy and I feel too codependent on a future daddy that I don't even know exits.
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