Being a Little is not an excuse for misbehavior.
Some CG/L relationships may include an aspect of purposely boundary-pushing. However, typically this only happens after agreements are made and the fences set to prevent crossing any personal boundaries.
In terms of a punishment, holding off on giving someone a gift (or reward) is a perfectly reasonable punishment, particularly if the Little needs to learn to exercise patience. However, we feel that this incident falls outside the scope of what a punishment should address. This isn’t the case of an innocent child who accidentally stumbled into a mistake and you have to gently show your disapproval, this is an adult who knowingly disrespected you as a partner and neglected your emotional needs as such.
Your Little didn't act like a good partner to you, thus, it should be reasonable to deal with this situation as you would a regular relationship issue. Your feelings are hurt, and you have the right to address your feelings so that you can continue having a happy and healthy relationship without resentments. Their being Little is irrelevant to this situation and shouldn’t at all be a primary concern in working through this as partners. Your feelings as an emotionally hurt partner is the focus.
We feel that you should have a conversation with your Little about being more that just a Little. He is not a biological child, so it would be right to expect maturity about serious subjects. He should always be prioritizing your feelings as a relationship partner no matter how much he feels like a child.
Celina wrote:it seems like most people are littles because of that sort of neglect
Although many Littles may cite this as their reason as to why they're a Little, we wholeheartedly believe it isn't much of a factor. Littles are regressors because of their personality that experiences regression at all times or in episodes
, and each and every Little is different — just as every human is different, the regressive traits that a Little brings to their relationship differs from pairing to pairing.
We are bringing this up because it is very important to view your Little as more than just a Little. In our opinion, a successful partnership within the community will center around striving to meet the needs of your partner as much as they strive to meet yours. And we're talking about needs you each have as individuals, more than just Caregiver or Little needs.
There is often the general idea that Caregiver personality types are superhuman or godlike. This is a misconception and is wrong.
You, as a Caregiver, may feel unhappy feelings towards your Little at times. Relationships are not perfect, and it is only reasonable to believe that there will be hiccups along the road. Otherwise expectations may be unfeasible high and will come in the way of a reasonable and fair relationship.