- 6 months ago
Talk to your partner, very clearly providing examples of what you’d like to experience, and try to be understanding about his position too. Remember that just because you want something doesn’t mean your partner does so you will have to work to find what is mutually fulfilling. You have to keep the lines of communication open to be able to work together.
Please be aware that being a Caregiver does not necessarily mean the person is dominant, sadistic, or involved in BDSM. These things are actually separate and it’s important to realize that. CGL is not inherently BDSM and does not by itself involve domination or submission. While there are many people within the CGL community who also are members of the BDSM community these groups are separate and based on the individuals involved.
CGL is personality-based. Dom/sub or sadist/masochist is a part of sexual experience preference and is not a personality identifier at its root.
CGL does not directly pertain to sexual experience, drive, motivation, or desire. While regression may be involved in one’s sexuality, it is not the center focus of the “little” identity. While a Caregiver may also be a Dom in the BDSM community these things don’t necessarily go hand in hand for all.
You may want to encourage your partner to explore “dark ageplay” roleplay within a sexually-based BDSM community that’s specifically targeted for kinks and adult interests with you.
Explore together. Join online groups for BDSM together. Read stimulating material together for more sexually driven desires. Talk about your sexual and nonsexual fantasies and try to point out parts you like about your partner’s interests. Try to find scene ideas that you both can enjoy without it being too heavily one-sided. Relationships are give and take, including the sexual components.
It may also help you to privately encourage yourself to view your partner’s actions and words as having an underlying, dominating tone. Even though this may be partially fantasy for you it may help to find your partner’s general demeanor more desirable. You don’t have to verbally say that you’ve taken something he’s said or done as being more dominant, but you can train yourself to feel a certain way about him.
Best of luck!
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