I’m not “prejudging” so much as going by your choice of words. For example:
curiousvet wrote: ↑3 weeks ago
We're talking a bunch online but not in character.
curiousvet wrote: ↑3 weeks ago
...though I expect I'd be in no mood to play a daddy for awhile after.
There is no character to be though if you’re identifying
as a CGL Daddy and not just sometimes roleplaying as one whenever it is that you feel like it.
There is no “playing” as a Daddy if that is truly who you are as an individual. There may very well be different levels or degrees of expression, but there is no roleplay component in being a Daddy.
What you’ve described does not coincide with the real CGL community. It makes sense to short-term roleplaying scenes but not to personal identity. The CGL community is about personal identity—not roleplaying or temporarily acting a part. It’s okay if you want to roleplay as a parent every now and again but that doesn’t mean you’re a Daddy or even a part of the actual CGL community.
You are also fussing about having wanted to receive some advice that appears to be mostly related to sexual encounters (the “traffic light” system) in the BDSM realm. This is already something we address on our resources page
as usage of safe words/stop words
(note: the red/yellow/green light system is not really a safe choice).
There’s no sense in giving you generic advice for an “encounter” that might “lead to more” when you’re missing the very crucial base component to what you think you’re talking about. The advice you’re praising is massively generic and should’ve been a large part of your initial Daddy identity and feeling parental. You would gain more help by taking the time to read already available resources than to ask people to skim over these things for you. Please read all of our resources
to get you started then. You won’t be sorry, and you’ll have a full understanding of your expectations as a true Daddy-type.
Being a Daddy to a little is uniquely expressing your affection and romance toward that individual, knowing that your atypical expressions are understood as being from your heart. It’s a special connection that should be cherished, fostered to blossom into its full beauty. If those feelings don’t pre-exist then you have to ask yourself what you’re actually, really doing and why you think you and the way you feel and express those feelings fall under a particular label.
You clearly need to educate yourself on appropriate terminology at least within the community. If you are a Daddy then that is who you are, not a character
that you play
as when you’re feeling like it.
Even using the word “playdate” doesn’t make sense to identifying yourself as parental in expressions. Parents don’t have “playdates” with children—not their own and especially not children that are not theirs. As of currently, using the notion that you—a Caregiver—will be having a “playdate” with a little suggests the “date” will be sexual in direction. That’s just how it’s typically interpreted within the community. It’s wording that needs to be corrected. You aren’t bad for using it, but it is bad phrasing that can be easily corrected to appropriately both better define your identity as well as respect the identity of a little who is expecting you to provide a special parental connection aside from the sexual moments.
I feel that there is a lot to learn about yourself and these unique identities before engaging intimately with others in the community.
So, I’m okay with you believing another site is better because they don’t think it’s important to correct others’ misunderstandings about the community. I’d personally rather address these educational moments. If you disagree with my choice then that’s also okay.