Littlespace Online

I am somewhat new to the DD/lg environment. My wife and I have played some. Her idea. Diaper/control, pacifiers, coloring time, stuff like that. I enjoy it but it isn’t regular. Now here is where I turn into a shitty person:

Met a woman online. She is in a relationship and not looking to leave it. Neither am I. We chat a bit. Turns steamy. She isn’t looking to roam and neither was I really (but.... darn!). Well turns out she is also into DD/lg. We seem to be at an agreement that our relationship will be online. I’m looking for I guess guidance in learning more, links to articles here that will help me learn, etc. Thanks for any help!

So, you want advice on how to be a proper Caregiver to your online mistress so that she is fulfilled while your wife is oblivious to your infidelity? I assume you feel it's "not really cheating" since it isn't physical despite the fact that you are both emotionally and sexually unfaithful.

Step one, stop messing around on your wife. That is lacking care--the very opposite of the role you claim to identify in the community. If you cared about her at all you'd at least open up discussions with her about agreeing to start seeing other people outside of the marriage. That's called consent. Your wife deserves to be in agreement of this before anything at all goes any further, at all, regardless of it being "only online".

I don't think anybody here wants to help you cheat on your wife even if it's "only online". (Right, sure, it's always something like that, isn't it? Always "never serious" despite the fact that you're clearly aware it would be hurtful to your wife if she found out).

Since having an affair is illegal (adultery; "extra marital affair") then technically this topic is against our rules. These days it doesn't matter if your affair is "just online" or not--it'd still make for an unhappy court case during the divorce.

Talk to your wife. Be honest and care for her by telling her what you'd like to do. Stop hiding important things that could pull your marriage apart. She deserves to be in a place of importance to you. She deserves the right to give consent to this situation before it goes any further at all, and she deserves to have her choice in it respected. You chose to marry her. That's all of the advice you need.

We strongly agree with Admin.

Having the intent to do something is akin to already carrying certain something out. If you think about cheating and have already decided on doing so, the. you are cheating.

Now, what makes you think that it being online is any less worse than doing so in-person? Obviously your mind is already taken by this other woman and your lollipop as well, so it doesn’t matter what medium you’re doing this through.

The fact that you are invalidating your wife’s Littlespace and validation another woman’s is really shitty as well. Imagine how would you feel if you were a child, and you learned that your parent had another family he cared for more than you, even for just a moment.

There’s a lot of trust placed in CGL relationships, and on top of that, a marriage. What you’re already doing is utterly irresponsible and disrespectful. We advise you to stop what you’re doing and come clean. Be a better person. She deserves much better than this.

Like the Admin and Azure&Vanilla said. What you're doing is wrong and the fact you ask "how to cheat" when you have clearly already done so. Through texts, video chat, or whatever medium this may fall under. This is wrong in general, in any kind of relationship or marriage. You have the willpower to look at your wife alone with there is a room of good looking women. A man or women doesn't need to have eyes for many or another, but only eyes for one. This breaks my heart you'd hurt your OWN wife in such a horrible manner. You obviously have no idea what until death do us part means, you should be working through the likes and dislikes with your wife, not find another woman to do so with.

Emotional infidelity is just as harmful as the physical type, you're looking at serious issues all around if you continue in this manner.

Now, as someone who is polyamorous and has a husband and a separate caregiver (long distance, so mostly online) WITH the knowing consent of all parties, it can be done without "cheating" but you have GOT to be up front and honest with everyone involved. There is no other way that has any hope of coming out right in the end.