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#57271
I have never been in trouble before with my daddy. We have been talking for 6 months. It feels like we're getting really close together recently. But last night he said I need to behave when I was in bed getting ready to go to sleep, and then a few hours later sent a text staying a need to be a sweet girl for daddy. But I was mad and sad when I woke up to read the messages from my daddy. So i texted him in the morning saying that I was behaving, but he he asked what rules I broke last night. And I didn't think I broke any so I said none. But my daddy keep telling me I need to tell him or I'll.be put in time out. So I was mad and upset with my daddy. And he told me I need to message him and tell him what I did wrong. And that he'll read it but I'm in time out so he won't respond until Tuesday!
We have never disscued punishments before, and then he took away communication for my first punishment. Is that normal? I've never been in a relationship like this before. But it makes me very sad that I'm in time out. I'm not sure what to do..and I asked what rules I broke but he said I knew, but I didn't. It makes me feel like my daddy doesn't care or want to talk to me anymore..
I'm not sure what to do.
#57272
I've never been in a relationship like this before, but this really feels wrong for lack of better wording. This shows a lack of communication on his part because even with a child you sit them down and talk about what they did wrong before giving punishment.
#57273
Wow, I’d really be hurt if this was me with the fact that he didn’t feel like communicating the broken rule was important! I’m so sorry he’s left that with no clarity at all. That isn’t fair to you. Hopefully he’ll be able to learn to do better in the future.

This definitely sounds like there is some misunderstanding going on though. It’s odd that he didn’t tell you what he was upset about before issuing some punishments, and definitely odd that he’s performing punishments before even talking with you about how you feel about being punished. At 6 months talking it surprises me that this is the first time this is happening. It sounds like he has misunderstood your desires as a Little or his role as a Caregiver to you and has forgotten the crucial step of communication! Eek!

You’ll definitely have to clear this up with him, and be straightforward on your stance on receiving punishment or not (and, if so, what acceptable punishments are to you). A lot of people believe that cutting communication isn’t okay so if you feel that way the you have to tell him so that he knows. Let him know it just isn’t fair to punish you for a broken rule without making it clear exactly what you did that wasn’t okay. Being fair is super important, and it isn’t fair to not give you the option to know, understand, and work on doing better or improving next time you’re in a situation where a rule applies.

Maybe he’s generally feeling overwhelmed or unwell and used the “punishment” notion as an excuse to take a mini-break of sorts? Caregiver burnout does happen and it often isn’t handled responsibly, no matter the experience or maturity level of the Caregiver. I don’t know, you’ll definitely just have to talk this through and figure out where you two got on different pages.
#57278
Hey I'm myself in a LDR. What your CG is doing is in my opinion not the right way to respond and I think you are right to be upset. To take away the only way of communication is also not right.
I can only tell how I and my CG are handling punishments in our LDR. We have set our rules clearly from the beginning and have check lists we fill out. If I break one of the rules I get a punishment from our punishment list. And get a star if I complied to all rules. The punishments themselve where not chosen by just one of us but both together so we both would be comfortable with this. Again communication is key.

I personally think that you and your CG should talk about punishments and your boundaries as soon as it's possible. When you do that try to meet on common ground so you both feel as comfortable as possible.
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