Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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#56547
Long story short my ex fiance was a little and I absolutely loved being her caregiver when she would "feel little" as we called it and about a year into our relationship we realized that I was a little as well and so when I "felt little" she took the caregiver role. I absolutely loved this aspect of our relationship, she felt little on a much regular basis then I do but when I do it typically lasts a few days. Now we were long distance because I'm in the military but we made it work very well; but now that's all gone. I don't have a little to take care of and I don't have a caregiver to take care of me. I'm just lost and don't know what to do. She left me a month ago so I'm not ready for a relationship at all but I just don't know what to do. Do I get myself the things she was going to get me and try to take care of myself as a little when I feel that way? Or do I just repress it and pretend it doesn't exist until I find a caregiver?
#56548
I’m sorry your relationship ended. Heal in your time and let yourself go through the stages of grief. I think your priority here should be getting yourself back to a spot that is healed from this loss, regardless of regression. You may want to connect with a licensed therapist if you feel you are or will struggle with healing.

In regards to what you should do about feeling little and actively expressing it more without a partner, you are truly the only one who can answer that. If you feel like you want to pursue buying items or acting more on your regressive feelings in the privacy of your home then that’s a fine choice. If you want to replicate the things she did or use your imagine to pretend she is doing some things she use to do then there’s not anything wrong about that. If you feel like letting those more obvious things go quiet for now then it’s also just fine to let them back burner. If you want to ignore or forget about consciously doing things to intentionally express your regressive trait then you won’t be doing any harm. There are no expectations, requirements, or timelines in being who you are. Just be you.

Do keep in mind that you don’t need a Caregiver to be, enjoy, or appreciate having the little personality type. You can even have a perfectly lovely, fulfilling regression experience without another person participating. You also don’t need any special supplies. A Caregiver doesn’t make you a Little, and items won’t magically make you more valid. Heck, you can be a Little without ever having a stand-alone regressive experience. There is no special check off list you need to complete to find your happiness. You are just who you are and that is enough!
#56551
I legitimately made this account just now to make a post almost exactly the same as yours. Except I’m going on 10 months single. I was okay for a while but she texted me on the Fourth of July and that reset my grief quite a bit because it gave me hope. I still have a picture of our 2 favorite suffies as my Lock Screen. I miss her and being little with her more than anything. I’ve been searching for about 3 days for a post like this on the internet. :heart:
#56553
LostedDaddy wrote: 1 month ago I legitimately made this account just now to make a post almost exactly the same as yours. Except I’m going on 10 months single. I was okay for a while but she texted me on the Fourth of July and that reset my grief quite a bit because it gave me hope. I still have a picture of our 2 favorite suffies as my Lock Screen. I miss her and being little with her more than anything. I’ve been searching for about 3 days for a post like this on the internet. :heart:
:hugs:
I know if may sound uncomfortable at first but, really, a licensed therapist can help you figure out and truly move past the stage of grief you may be lingering at or unable to fully resolve. If after 10 months you feel like your progress has been reset then I think it may be time to consider talking to a professional about the relationship and how you can better deal with it having ended, or the potential something may trigger you to take steps back in your healing process.

You don’t have to be stuck in grief or suffer just because your relationship had a few different twists than a typical relationship. This dynamic is not the worst or most extreme they’ve heard about and they’re very professional in trying to understand how deeply emotional the relationship was for you. Give it some thought. If it doesn’t help then you can just stop going or switch therapists, it’s not as big of a deal as it may sound. Your mental health is worth it. You are worth it!
#56583
I’ve been coming up with a response for a week and I honestly don’t know how to put it into words, but I know you’re completely correct. Sometimes it just feels better to pretend though…

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