[Sparkles]

How do you deal with bouts of severe depression and thoughts of suicide?

I don't go through this often but every once in awhile it hits me and hits me hard. I'm not finding a whole lot of light at the other end right now and I feel like I'm fighting myself over these feelings. This is hitting me right as I think I've found a MDLB match so I'm even more conflicted--I'm failing as a potential Mommy Domme to someone who is important to me. I've started ignoring him more because I don't want him to worry and be upset over it, but I know it's wrong to ignore a person so I fall deeper into these terribly low feelings. It's just like every good thing is stacking up in a negative way. I'm losing the good things. So much has been happening these past couple of years that I wonder why I'm still going. How do I deal with these thoughts? I don't have health insurance right now and I doubt I can actually afford a therapist. Then again, how would I even tell a therapist about the MDLB relationship I so crave?

[Poptart]

I know how you feel, truthfully i've gone though snailpoop myself. I just want you to know I will gladly be your little, and I understand you ignoring me, I understand you don't want me to worry. But know this, ignoring me will still make me worry, I care about you so darn much, and my hope is for us to progress, you are the only one who I have felt a real connection with the entire time i've been into DDLG (CGL). I'm willing to stick with you through everything, I'll wait as long as possible for you (to the end of time), I want to help, be there for you as you will me, I want you to be my mommy <3

[mommylovesbutton]

Having been a Mommy for quite a few years and dealt with depression and anxiety for even longer my advice is to get help before you enter into something. You can not take care of someone else when you are struggling to care for yourself. As much as you want to and crave it, it's just not responsible.

I struggling for years with getting help. I suffered through it, I thought I could fix myself. I thought others could fix me. There is so much stigma with depression and anxiety. It is an illness. You need to be treated.

You do not have to goto a therapist. Talk to a walk-in clinic doctor, talk to your primary care doctor. Talk to anyone. They will have the resources you need. Tell them you are depressed, tell them you are having these thoughts. They will help. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

I finally ate my pride and got treatment. I kick myself every day for waiting so long.

Wishing you luck and more happiness

[Journey2happiness]

This journey is life changing when facing your fears. There will be highs and lows, but you will discover so much about yourself and suddenly will feel free to fully be yourself. The biggest thing is trust. Trust you know right from wrong, know that these feelings don't have to last forever, trust the people who love you, trust that all things happen for a reason, these challenges make us stronger. When you are down, look up self care tips. Build a list of things you like or distractions when your mind fills with negative thoughts. Here is a list to hopefully help get you started.
-Create a support system of people you can talk to about what's going on or can call when you are feeling low.
-Talk to your doctor about options available to you as well as ask print out information. My doctor acted as a counselor and always checked up on me.
-join a free support group for depression and anxiety. Meet like minded people who understand where you are coming from. You shouldn't feel nervous about sharing your MDLB if that's something you feel is important to your identity or help others understand what you need for recovery. These places are judge free zones.
-Set a short goal list that doesn't involve other people
-Make a distraction list.
-Always find the positive in everything no matter how hard. A perfect way to start is the 100happydays challenge. You take a photo or video everyday and write about something that made you happy or mindful that day. When you complete this your life is much more optimistic, I was never the same.
-I also run a mental health awareness page and would love to talk any time you need it. xjourney.2.happinessx
I hope this helps, please let me know if there is anything I can do.