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#45293
Hi, everyone. I'm a little and my daddy and I live quite a far distance from each other.

I came back home from a visit to see him two months ago and ever since then I've felt such a horrible loss. We still talk to each other on skype and all that. I've just felt very lonely and completely lost. It's so hard for me to understand who I am right now. At night, once he's gone to bed (we have a time zone difference), is when most of the depressing thoughts come into play. I am hardly able to sleep at night. I just close my eyes and hope that my thoughts cease long enough for me to fall asleep.

I find myself falling asleep very late and waking up early. I don't know how to get a good rest when I keep thinking and my mind won't stop.

I'm trying to find a job to keep me occupied. As some of you might know though, finding a job is easier said than done. This will be my first job as well and I feel like I can't do it. I know that I have to do it so that I can save up some money for our wedding. He will be contributing to the wedding expenses too of course, mainly the flights for both of us so he can come here for the wedding and then I can go live with him.

Anyway, back to the whole job thing. I feel too "little" to be able to do it. I can easily switch from little space into adult space when I have to but I always have a sort of "little" mentality if that makes sense. I'm scared about the pressure of having a job. I'm terrified I won't be any good at it. And math isn't my strong skill. I can count basic money but I feel like with the pressure added to it, I'll mess up very frequently. I don't know what to expect...

Another thing I'd like to add- I've found myself in a sort of purgatory, if you will. I don't really feel like doing much in terms of "adulting" and all thoughts of eventually finding a career are sad to me. I would love to become a voice actress one day. I've been in a bit of fan projects and I'm working on my own youtube channel at the moment. Making youtube videos has been making me really happy. Both voice acting and youtube take a while to get into and make a living off of though. So, I know I'm going to have to save up some money with a temporary job.

I feel like right now, life doesn't really have any meaning. I know I have my daddy and I do have some hobbies that I enjoy. My hobbies just feel pointless at the time being. I'm distracted by them for awhile and then after I'm done with the activity I go back to thinking about how pointless it is. Little space helps but it's really hard to stay in little space with all of my thoughts. I feel as if I'm only waiting at this time and I guess that IS true. I'm waiting for the day that my daddy and I can be reunited again.

Any help or advice would be very appreciated.
#48120
Hi, I understand all of what your saying cuz I've had that and do as well. If you would like to talk more one on one we can.

Somethings you could maybe do is:
Write (if that helps)
Talk to a friend
Go talk to someone who's it job to talk to people with problems
Watch a movie/t.v. show
Color
Play/snuggle with stuffies

Hope that helps some.
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