They say it’s like an addiction and that they’re always seeking more and more. They say they’ll go to therapy and work on this, but I know this has been a recurring issue from the start of our relationship, 5-6 years ago. They have stated before that being a Little is a very core part of who they are. Now they’re saying it’s tied to some emotional addiction or something.
We found that it appears similar to how this sexaholic condition is described on this page: https://www.sa.org/solution/
And some sort of fantasy addiction as described here: https://slaavirtual.org/fantasy-addicti ... -addiction
If it is addiction it feels like I’m a casual user while they’re an addict then. I feel like what we’ve done has been very fulfilling to me and that I’ve always put my all into cherishing and encouraging their regressive expressions. They feel like they’re perpetually missing something bigger and more grand and, simply, that nothing has ever been deep enough to satisfy them.
But I don’t know if this even makes sense much less be something that can be worked through.
They’ve had the AB dreamlife reality. I’ve been “Mommy” for the entirety of our relationship. All of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, always hand holding, diapers (not shying away from wet/messy usage either), buying them gifts, nursing/breastfeeding even if I’m raw, bottle feeding, spoon feeding, cuddles, snuggles, animated movie collection, dedicated immersive times, bedroom acts 5 nights a week where they receive with not having to give back (years of me not getting physical affections back), a Littles wardrobe, treating them more like a beloved and cherished child than matured man…
I recognize that I could’ve communicated better by being more aware of my own feelings as all of this progressed and shoved me deeper into a depression that I’ve experienced the last couple of years. I ignored those feelings and hoped it’d just go away if I got to become “good enough” with my Mommy identity.
Their fantasies revolves around them in a situation where their physical needs were met by an emotionless person who had no needs or desires of their own. They didn’t strive to be “emotionally loved”, but sought to be “taken care of”. It always confused me and I never pushed to figure it out. I should have pushed to discuss this deeper and determined that was something I just couldn’t be before we committed to one another. I don’t know why I just let it go as if it was not important. The warning signs were everywhere.
If they said they wanted to do it or try something then we did it. If they wanted me to do something I did it. If they wanted something I bought it. My world revolved around them. I always prioritized them over myself and accepted the emotional abandonment from them as deserved.
It was just never enough.
I was just not good enough.
Any advice at all?