- 3 months ago
Oh my god this is a terrible idea.
I'm not in a place to mince words about this.
Your therapist is YOUR THERAPIST. Your relationship with her is a paid, professional one. The emotional support she gives you is because it is HER JOB TO PROVIDE THAT. This is NOT an interpersonal relationship.
Likewise, of course you feel love for her - your entire relationship with her is about you, your needs, your wants, your mental health. And that's how therapist/patient relationships are. But none of it is coming from a place of their wanting an intimate personal relationship with you (and cgl relationships are by nature intimate even if they aren't romantic or physically intimate.)
And a real relationship with another person, cgl or otherwise, is NEVER going to just be about you the way a therapist/patient dynamic is. Right now you have zero responsibility towards this person. Their needs, wants, etc, have never gotten in the way of your desires. Everything is about you, so of course it feels perfect to you. But this is not how a healthy personal relationship works. Even if for some reason you DID end up cultivating this relationship with her, it wouldn't be like it is now. You would have responsibilities towards her mental health, well-being, wants, needs, desires, whathaveyou. A cgl relationship is NOT a true parent/child dynamic, it's two adults meeting each other on a different level than most adult relationships take place. Right now you're basically always a "baby" with her. In a personal relationship, you would NEED TO BE AN ADULT. It requires GIVE and take from both parties, not just the cg.
And even if you're thinking "okay but I could do that" - 1. would you REALLY be ready for this "relationship" to change so drastically? And 2. it doesn't really matter because THIS PERSON IS YOUR THERAPIST, not your friend, not your partner. To say nothing of the ethics of the situation on her end, and the risk it would create for her in terms of her career and reputation if people found out.
Also, she's married, or in a relationship? Would you be expecting her to do this behind her partner's back? Do you really think they're going to be onboard with this if she just says "oh by the way I'm entering a cgl relationship with one of my patients?" If this is someone you supposedly care about, why would you want to put her in this position?