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By punkyprincess
#60847
I'm gonna give a huge **TRIGGER WARNING** here! do not read while little or if you are struggling with mental health or cant handle heavy topics!!!
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with that being said, I am dealing with a lot. for starters I'm dealing with what seems to be paranoia, dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization, severe anxiety, etc. I am diagnosed with clinical depression(more severe type of depression) anxiety, and ADHD. I used to take medicine for it but it just made everything worse. I was either a zombie or i was exactly the same, exept it was impossible to cry. before someone says it I AM NOT self diagnosing. but I do hours of research sometimes to try and put the pieces together. I have found that I have every single known sign of BPD(borderline personality disorder) and want to get tested for it at some point because nothing has made as much sense. another thing I deal with is a horrible chest pain. for the last year it feels like my sternum is rotting. its REAL pain but all the doctors I've been to says its all in my head. its torturing to my mind to know that, and honestly I wish there was really something wrong so it could be fixed. recently I've been dealing with a fear of going outside. I fear people, crowded places, I worry about how I look, how I sound, how I walk, I wonder how everything seems so real yet so fake. so put together.... anyhow I could go on about the thoughts that rage through my mind every second of every day but not a lot of people understand. its hard for me to explain things to people let alone therapists. I'm going to try going back because I don't know what to do anymore. I'm drowning. alone. most therapists I've had didn't understand what I was trying to explain, and the last one talked to me like a child and told me to draw squirrels... while another would interrupt me mid sentence asking if I was planning to hurt myself. so not much luck with that ever, but I've got to try. if you've read this thank you. you didn't have to. and if any of this spoke to you, you aren't alone.
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By LunaLilac
#60853
I'm sorry you're going through so much, I'm dealing with some mental health stuff myself, and having issues getting anyone to look at me or help me in any meaningful way myself.

I think it's wonderful that you are trying again, sometimes it takes many therapists to find one that really clicks with you and understands how to interact with you in a meaningful way, to allow you to better heal, and sometimes a different combination of medicines can help just depending on how you are.

I know things are hard but you are not alone, keep trying and if you need it i'll do my best to listen and help where i can. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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By LunaLilac
#60858
Of course, I know what it's like feeling alone, I feel that way a lot. And I've been struggling to get help myself, but if I can help someone I want to do it. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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