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New, inexperienced, and recently discovered adult babies, regressors, littles, and Caregivers ask for perspectives, advice, tips, and information from more knowledgeable friends.
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#58796
about a month or two ago I stumbled into this relationship with this person where the lines got blurred very quickly and i felt a natural pull to protect and give her whatever she wanted. however now that i’ve taken a step back i only now realize just how dependant on me she is and just how messed up the situation is: she is dropping into little space with no help after stressful situations, she is struggling to come out of the headspace and becoming very disoriented when i attempt to help her come up, right now i’m burnt out and she still pushes me to help her drop everyday, and i’m just not a good caregiver right now no matter what she says. I want to help her but she refuses see just how bad the situation is like she dropped the other week and apparently was small during her normal everyday adult life (doing dangerous things like horse riding which is her hobby) and to hear that she wasn’t able to come up and be big during these things very near sent me into a panic attack. she uses this headspace as an escape from her anxiety but right now she seems to prefer it over her real life and i know that’s a really toxic outlook on the play. please i don’t know what to do.
By Deleted User 70612
#58802
I am a little and I know that being in head space does help with some anxiety but it will not fix the problems you have in life. You may need to talk to her about talking to a therapist or a doctor to help her with the anxiety. Also you need to be direct with how you are feeling. If you are burned out and need a break for your mental health then you have to put yourself first at one point. In a CG and Little relationship it is not all give on the cg side and take on the little, there is a balance. You two will need to find that balance and if she is not willing to then you may need to decide if this is what you want.
#58803
I agree with those who have replied thus far, while this is a coping mechanism that seems more in depth than some, we should be able to control it, and as an adult your partner should know she can't completely depend on you in that way. And if you do not want to be in that role, that does not make you a bad person or a bad partner.
I also am a little who regresses to cope with anxiety, yes it would be lovely to never have to go back, but that's not what it's for. It's a break. We can still handle adult life. We don't want to but we do.
#58819
binchlee wrote: 1 year ago about a month or two ago I stumbled into this relationship with this person where the lines got blurred very quickly and i felt a natural pull to protect and give her whatever she wanted. however now that i’ve taken a step back i only now realize just how dependant on me she is and just how messed up the situation is: she is dropping into little space with no help after stressful situations, she is struggling to come out of the headspace and becoming very disoriented when i attempt to help her come up, right now i’m burnt out and she still pushes me to help her drop everyday, and i’m just not a good caregiver right now no matter what she says. I want to help her but she refuses see just how bad the situation is like she dropped the other week and apparently was small during her normal everyday adult life (doing dangerous things like horse riding which is her hobby) and to hear that she wasn’t able to come up and be big during these things very near sent me into a panic attack. she uses this headspace as an escape from her anxiety but right now she seems to prefer it over her real life and i know that’s a really toxic outlook on the play. please i don’t know what to do.
Talk to her. Littles are not children. Littles are capable of understanding and respecting our limits. And the fact that she keeps pushing despite knowing you're uncomfortable is NOT okay.

The internet at large seems to really romanticize and love the idea of "involuntary" regression, and I'm willing to bet 95% of people are exaggerating it. But if she genuinely can't function as an adult, she needs mental health care, not a relationship.

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