IMPORTANT CHAT UPDATE:
♥ Please clear your cache, cookies, and/or history to refresh the chat if it isn’t loading for you. We have pushed some updates to fix bugs.
New, inexperienced, and recently discovered adult babies, regressors, littles, and Caregivers ask for perspectives, advice, tips, and information from more knowledgeable friends.
Forum rules: 
► Show more details
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
#57958
Hello! ::3:

I've been age regressing for 10 years now due to my trauma and nobody knows about it, so I feel like this is a safe place to talk about everything.

I never really paid too much attention to it until 2 years ago when I got into a relationship with my lovely boyfriend. Now the problem is I have to continuously mask whenever I age regress because I just know he wouldn't accept something like that. Or maybe I'm just paranoid he will leave me if he finds out...

Most problems happen when I'm having a regressive episode and it's time to do physically intimate stuff. We are both consensual adults and that isn't a problem and more of a problem is that we are both boys and he plays a submissive role during sex and I label myself as a switch more on the dominant side but the age regressing and little space literally ruin everything for me. I'm so sick of it. :>.<: 90% of the time it gets triggered during those times and it leads to us arguing the next day about how I'm "lying about being a dom" and I have to keep reassuring him that that's not the case.

I want to know if anyone has any advice on how to lessen the triggers for age regressing and little space... I just want to have a normal life without having to cope that way. Any help is appreciated, love you all! :splode:
#57959
What, exactly, are your triggers? For example, if you regress every time you get stressed because you use it as a way to manage stress, then you'll need to find/work on other coping mechanisms for stress.

Honestly it might help to talk to your boyfriend and be honest about what's going on. If every time you're in a physically intimate situation you think there's going to be an argument or that you'll "fail" in some way, you won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Sex ultimately, is about having fun and making things enjoyable for you and anyone else involved, so if you're mentally preparing for an argument, that won't be able to happen.
By Deleted User 69497
#57961
And your trigger might be the physically intimate situation itself and the fear you're going to regress which is what is causing the regression? The best thing is to be honest with your boyfriend about it as you should have open communication if you want the relationship to be healthy.
#57965
Just making sure I follow this - you initially started age regression as a conscious coping tool for stress, but now stress causes you to do so involuntarily?

If that's the case...for one thing, find a new coping mechanism, because ultimately something you're not in control of is going to cause you significant stress. Hopefully that would also stop the association between stress and regression for you. Because it IS something you need to find a way to control, especially if this is upsetting for you. (For me it's usually only an issue if I let my mind wander and kind of forget where I am/what I'm doing...I have ADHD so that happens during sex more than I'd like. So for me just trying to remain very aware and present in the moment is generally what I need. Like "Hey, no, we're doing this now!" I have no idea if that would help you at all though.)

The other potential issue is that sex is apparently stressing you out - because of what your stress response will be. So you've got kind of an ouroboros thing happening here.

You could be deliberately vague about it: "The fact that we argue about sex is causing sex to be stressful for me, and that stress causes me to struggle with behaving as I usually would." But if he asks more questions, it might be hard to keep hidden. Ideally, you would be open with him, but I understand that that's a scary thought and not something you're willing to do right now. I hope someday you can be, though, because keeping it a secret is only going to add to your stress. And if he can't accept something that doesn't impact his life at all, that definitely doesn't mean there's something wrong with YOU, you know? But again, I get that it's hard.

I'm looking for diapers, nice baby ones, sexy ones[…]

Advice on being little

Your little side is always with you! I know it's […]

Has anyone gone to a con?

I'm not a con person in general but I've always wo[…]

Potty training potties

Hey, 🌸Thank you for letting me be here. I found th[…]

Do you use an adult pacifier?

Yes as often as I can,and always while doing night[…]