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New, inexperienced, and recently discovered adult babies, regressors, littles, and Caregivers ask for perspectives, advice, tips, and information from more knowledgeable friends.
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#57685
Look, this is a new world for me but I'm not judgemental about it. My boyfriend came clean when we hit our 3 month mark in our relationship about him being a little, (though it was kinda obvious to me cause he always acts like a little kid, i just let it go cause i thought it was adorable, and i still do) and I explained that I was okay with it. We've been together over a year now and he thinks I don't understand what it means exactly for him to be a little, and maybe I don't. But I came across this page looking to learn and understand and now I'm captivated, and yes I've learned that I myself have a childish side but I don't think I would consider myself a little, I find that when my bf goes into his little space I feel an urge to be, I guess a caregiver? I don't understand exactly what kinda things I can do to be this for him, and maybe it's not for me, but if anyone can give me any advice on at least little things I can do, like do I have to act like I'm his mother? Or is their little things I can do for a start to see if I'm comfortable with this? Any advice is appreciated on what to do.
#57688
A caregiver can be a family relationship but doesn't have to be (some say CG or babysitter, some take on an older sibling role if they don't like to be a parent). Find activities you both enjoy doing (coloring, watching cartoons, going to the zoo or on trips) - as long as you trust each other and are safe, it's ok to figure out where you both fit in the dynamic :)
#57689
You absolutely don't have to act like his mother, or any way you don't want to! The best step to take is to just ask him directly what he would like from you if you were to assume the caregiver role! And then together you can discuss what you do and don't feel comfortable doing and pick some smaller things to start from.

But if you'd like to do things independently, without his input, a lot of people seem to like it when their caregivers cook "little" foods for them and help them with things like cutting it up (and possibly feeding them if they see themselves as very young); he might like it if you hung out with him while he watches cartoons or colors or whatever "little" activities he likes that are more passive; you could try picking out his outfits for him and suggesting he wear his "younger" clothes; you could hold his hand when you walk places (especially crossing the street!)...dunno, I don't have or want a caregiver so other people could give you better ideas, but first and foremost, ask him what he wants from you and think about where you can fulfill those requests! And don't forget to think about what you want out of this relationship as well, and what you are and aren't comfortable with doing.
#57726
Talk about what both of you think "Little" means, and what "Big or Caregiver" means. Find common ground and work from there. Start with just one thing that you're comfortable with, and try it (have a test day), then add it into the days when he's little. Its slow and baby steps into being a Caregiver. But didn't go too fast, enjoy the time of building into what you both what.

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