[hyp3rinsomniac1201]

So I'm new to AB. my wife isn't a big fan but she is accepting and ok with me exploring when she's not around. that's cool but it sucks to be all by yourself so I'm finding new communities to make friends in. Does anyone have tips for a solo AB

[Motherly]

I’d be happy to give you some general advice in exploring this about yourself!

• It’s okay to use your imagination, pretending like your would-be caregiver is just in the other room while you’re regressing. You don’t need a caregiver to be able to really be yourself if this is who you really are.

• Don’t “go all out” as fast as you can. There’s no reason to go as far as you can as quickly as possible. Give yourself time to explore and understand your feelings about something before moving on to the next thing you’re interested in checking out. Understanding why you enjoy something can help lead you to more enjoyable things later.

• There’s a lot of “one upping” and “completing the checklist” in the community. You don’t have to “do it all”. You don’t have to buy or use all of the marketed items. You do not need to be every possible thing on a checklist of what a regressor could be. There’s no reason to force yourself into liking something you don’t really like. You aren’t going to be “more of a baby” just because you collected all potential supplies or something silly. You aren’t going to be “more yourself” by pretending to have a personality trait you don’t really have so be easy on yourself. Try not to worship others in the community. Try not to be envious or jealous because someone else is collecting everything possible or looks like they’re more whatever than you. Just be you.

• Be realistic: stories other people are posting are the equivalent of romance novels! They are not really and would likely never occur that way in reality even if someone tried. It’s better to read resources and informational pages rather than the romance novel AB fanfics when trying to learn about yourself.

• Lastly, interacting on forums and in chat rooms can be good but be aware that some people may cross a line that would potentially not be okay with your wife. Be mindful of your relationship boundaries and your respect for her when you’re communicating online. Just because you don’t see the person you’re chatting to doesn’t mean you can’t be doing anything wrong in some way specific to your marriage. Be aware of yourself, and talk about boundaries first with your wife if you feel anything might come up in chats that you’re not sure about being okay with her.

[CosmianAndNovella]

Hello! We love Motherly's advice, as we feel these points would've applied to us if we were in your situation.

We would be extra mindful of who you talk to and what you talk about. Just as with any relationship, your partner should come before your friends. You don't want to find yourself in a sticky situation where your friends have influenced you and made you drift apart from your wife. She's not the one talking to these people, so right there she could be at a disadvantage in your relationship.

We're not saying to involve your wife in your regression. We would advise you to try and keep things a bit open if she's okay with it. Meaning, keep her in the loop without guilting her or making her feel uncomfortable, if possible.

Perhaps it would be safe to have a discussion on what all is okay to talk about to with her, and keep that line of discussion open. Just because she okay something now doesn't mean she will continue to be okay with it as it may include things she hadn’t thought of before.

Above all, love your wife and be appreciative that she's allowing your personal endeavors!