- 3 years ago
#55912
Hello Everyone
My name is Avy. My question is similar to the "Am I too old" but a bit different.
I'm scared but I'll put this out there and be honest. I just turned 57, but I think that most of my life since probably 7 or 8 I have always wanted to be treated like I was younger. Or at least my age.
I was very tall early on and 'mature' for my age so no one ever babied me. My parents weren't affectionate and I an a very huggy kissy (non physically intimate. I just found out I am asexual but that's another story!) When I took ballet was too tall to lift so I didn't get the 'female' parts. My favorite color is pink and I have always loved cute things. I still do.
I remember when I was young and scared at night I would either stay up and read kids books ( I was around 11 ) Or I would pick my brother up and carry him in my bed to sleep with me!
In high school I wanted all cute things and cute clothes (I hated that my feet were and still are too big for girly pink and cute decorated things shoes. that still hurts my heart)
I have always had a bed full of stuffies and still do. I just had surgery and I realize now I must have looked weird with the stuffie I had with me the whole time.
I'll try to make this shorter. I have always been the one in relationships to take care of all of the business especially financial. I want someone to take charge of that for me now or at least help. I still long for someone to hug me and say it's going to be okay and take care of me, and baby me. I don't have family anymore and I have lived alone single since 2012. Me and my few friends were workaholics before all this now so being home alone now is not fun.
This has come to a head (side note I was at the store and saw a man who was way taller that me and looked like he could pick me up and hug me and I wanted to ask so bad ) in the last year I have had less than 10 hugs and I can't take it.
I think I have been fighting being a little most of my life and now. I know I would be between 5 - 10, I love doing things that age range. I guess this is my coming out officially hi hi! so I guess I would just like to be here and talk to other's.
Thank you for letting me ramble even since I am scared I will be lurking and probably be embarrassed about this post. I have just been crying and need to see what other people are doing.
Avy
My name is Avy. My question is similar to the "Am I too old" but a bit different.
I'm scared but I'll put this out there and be honest. I just turned 57, but I think that most of my life since probably 7 or 8 I have always wanted to be treated like I was younger. Or at least my age.
I was very tall early on and 'mature' for my age so no one ever babied me. My parents weren't affectionate and I an a very huggy kissy (non physically intimate. I just found out I am asexual but that's another story!) When I took ballet was too tall to lift so I didn't get the 'female' parts. My favorite color is pink and I have always loved cute things. I still do.
I remember when I was young and scared at night I would either stay up and read kids books ( I was around 11 ) Or I would pick my brother up and carry him in my bed to sleep with me!
In high school I wanted all cute things and cute clothes (I hated that my feet were and still are too big for girly pink and cute decorated things shoes. that still hurts my heart)
I have always had a bed full of stuffies and still do. I just had surgery and I realize now I must have looked weird with the stuffie I had with me the whole time.
I'll try to make this shorter. I have always been the one in relationships to take care of all of the business especially financial. I want someone to take charge of that for me now or at least help. I still long for someone to hug me and say it's going to be okay and take care of me, and baby me. I don't have family anymore and I have lived alone single since 2012. Me and my few friends were workaholics before all this now so being home alone now is not fun.
This has come to a head (side note I was at the store and saw a man who was way taller that me and looked like he could pick me up and hug me and I wanted to ask so bad ) in the last year I have had less than 10 hugs and I can't take it.
I think I have been fighting being a little most of my life and now. I know I would be between 5 - 10, I love doing things that age range. I guess this is my coming out officially hi hi! so I guess I would just like to be here and talk to other's.
Thank you for letting me ramble even since I am scared I will be lurking and probably be embarrassed about this post. I have just been crying and need to see what other people are doing.
Avy