New, inexperienced, and recently discovered adult babies, regressors, littles, and Caregivers ask for perspectives, advice, tips, and information from more knowledgeable friends.
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By jordie472
I recently entered a relationship with a little and im trying my best to educate myself on CG/L relation ships. she has referred my to a couple resources but im looking to find more information. Do any experienced caregivers have any tips for me? And do any little have sugestions of things they would have liked in the early stages of your relationships? Thank you all so much <3
My suggestion is (although I am my own caregiver), is to not give in to everything she wants (especially if her little space is baby/ toddler range, which I think I am). It's okay to spoil her, but not too much, or else she might become a brat since we tend to have the mindset of a child, we also tend to (at least I do and not all littles are the same) disobey if we don't want to do something (by putting it off). You also should not be very forceful (we are like kids after all), as we can be VERY sensitive to other people's anger and also dislike people who force us to do things.
First and foremost, at the core of any CG/L relationship should lay a "regular" relationship. You should establish a baseline of trust and communication before entering any form of dynamic.

Speaking from experience (we've been with our Mommy for over three years; living together for one), having long conversations about life, interests, goals, desires and history is extremely important to get to know another person, and we attribute our success in big part because of how well we meshed in conversation.

A few keys that can clear up misconceptions about a CG/L relationship:

Being a Little is not an excuse to mistreat you or misbehave, nor is it an excuse to not show care when you need it. Being a Caregiver is not an excuse to force your Little into doing activities they aren't comfortable doing without prior consent.

A Little can still show their Caregiver that they care! And being a Caregiver does not mean that all responsibilities fall upon them.

In the end, our maturity has also been a key factor. In the beginning we expected that we would be 24/7 Little and Mommy. But as time went on and circumstances changed, we realized that it was our grownup attributes which lead us to finding a balance just right for us. Mommy encouraged and continues to encourage our growth as individuals, and that has been a big part in preventing stagnation and unhappiness.

It's okay to expect your Little to be as interested in you as a person just as much as they're interested in you being their Caregiver.

CG/L can be quite magical! We absolutely enjoy the bonding tender moments that we have with our Mommy. However, our marriage with our Mommy has shown us enjoyment in other aspects of life. Just sharing space with her, watching movies (both youthful and mature movies), sharing meals, listening to music, and talking about anything feels really nice and happy, too!
My suggestion to you as a new caregiver would be to take time to learn certain behaviors of the person you are in a relationship with when they age regress. For instance, when they are upset, do they get quiet when they are normally bubbly? Being able to answer things like this will help you better understand and take care of your little when they are regressing.
Another thing is to keep your significant other in little space when they are age regressing. Whether it's cuddling, coloring or playing age appropriate games on a phone, your little will appreciate you doing your best to keep them in their safe place as long as possible.
I would also encourage you to ask your significant other questions if you have them. It's never a bad thing to want to know more about something you are new to and it would show how dedicated you are to the relationship.
My last bit of advice to you is that no caregiver begins as a perfect caregiver in any relationship. These things take time and it will most likely be a learning curve for you. Hope this helps! Best of luck to you.

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