- 6 years ago
#39198
- Name: Fae
- Gender: I'm a transwoman, 4 1/2 years into transition.
- Age: 43
- Height: 5' 9"
- Weight: 185
- Location: Florida
- Occupation: Professional
- Current Marital or Relationship Status: Single
- physically intimate orientation: Queer (I'm into anyone other than cis-males)
- What are some things that have led you to identifying as a Caregiver?
I must admit, that my experiences upto this point have been primarily of the Vanilla variety, but I've always been a Caregiver... I just didn't have a little to dot on. I've been drawn to people I can care for, who I can support, and who needed me in difficult situations. This has been true of both my platonic and romantic relationships. Unfortunaetly, this means that I'm with someone until the person becomes strong enough to leave. I understand this, it was a tempoary dynamic, and it ended when they grew, but I'm tired of these doomed relationships... I'm tired of being disposable. The CG/l community is only now something that I'm discovering, and I'm hopeful, that maybe here, I can find someone who wants my attention and nurturing not just for the momment, but for...ever.
- - What type of partner are you looking for here?
I'm looking for a Little Girl or a Little One that's Non-Binary or Fluid. I'd be interested in a Little boy who's trans and not too masculine, but we definately have to discuss things to make sure a relationship with me wouldn't be harmfule to him or hinder his transition. Younger minded middles are welcome, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with AB. I'm primarily a Mommy, but I can be a switch, provided my little could top as a little and wouldn't want to do so too often. I also want someone who's at least intersted in a Long-Term relationship. I'm not into pain or degradation at all, so I simply could not provide a partner with either. Ideally, I'd want a partner who was interested in a 24/7 dynamic, although it's perfectly ok to scale things back in public or unfriendly settings, or whenever my partner needs, but I'd like it if the dynamic rarely ever completely turns off. I would also be ok with elements of Pet dynamics if my partner desired it.
- - Are you open to long distance relationships or only local?
I understand that LDRs are the best way to meet people and get to know them, to discover if there is a connection that is truly worth pursuing. However, if things go well, after time, I would want to meet the person in real life... and if the connection continues to grow, eventualy work out how to be together. So, LDRs are fine, provided that's not all my little would ever want.
- - Describe your perfect match and some great qualities that they would have:
My perfect match would be a precocious little, or a 'younger' middle. Intelligence and curiosity are very important to me, and geekiness would be a plus. My little would want to be taught and mentored, as I love sharing knowledge and giving 'thought projects' (I'm pretty good at it too, I can even be entertaining
). I don't like to punish, I prefer to guide and support, so I'd prefer a sweet little over a bratty one. I would love to find someone who retains their child-like wonder regardless of whether or not they're in little space, and aren't afraid to be silly, even in public. I would want them to be clingy and needy, this gives me purpose in taking care of my little one. They would also be honest and open with me, even if it's something they think would upset me. But when it comes right down to it, I want someone who chooses me to take care of them... who is willing to put their trust in me and be vunerable because I make them feel safe and loved... and I'm more than willing to earn that trust.
- - Are you into physically intimate or nonsexual Caregiver/little play?
I would prefer a little who would be open to physically intimate play once they felt safe and comfortable with me. However, I'm not really into having my little reciprocate. I want to offer pleasure, but it's very hard for me to accept the same when I'm in a dominate role. I am a Switch, but I'm far more comfortable and experience in the dominant role. This does mean that if a little wants to be naughty and try to top me, it's a possibilty, but that's not something that I need.
- - Do you prefer polyamorous or monogamous relationships?
Monogamous is easier, and I'm perfectly comfortable with that, but I'm open to poly-fidelity, just not Open relationships.
- - How long have you been into the Caregiver/little dynamic?
As I mentioned above, I'm new to the actual Caregiver/little dynamic.
- - What are you looking for in a little?
I'm looking for someone I can connect with, someone who is willing to open up to me and wants me to do the same. I looking for someone with whom I can form this intense kind of bond with, who fills me with joy by knowing that I fill them with Joy. I want someone with whom I have interests and values in common with, and with whom that connection doesn't simply exist in littlespace, but in the entirety of our relationship. Maybe what I want sounds too perfect to be real, but I want to be with someone where it feels like we could find that kind of fullfillment by continuing to be open and honest, caring and respectful. Is that really too much to ask for?
- - What do you think you have to offer to a little?
I'm not simply a caring person, I'm someone who needs to care and nurture others to be fulfilled. I can offer the center of my world, my attention, my devotion and my interst in my little one's well-being, happiness and growth. I'm old enough that I've raised many of my partner's children, and while this relationship would be decidedly different, the nurturing, guidance, care and unconditional love is not. I'm well versed in reading moods and non-verbal language, and I offer my sincere interest in who they are as a person, their hopes, dreams and fears. I have been a Homeschool teacher and I train people professionaly, so I know how to, and enjoy teaching and supporting people in order for them to grow and gain confidence. I'm willing to open myself up to my little one, to be honest and true. I'm loyal and fiercly protective, but I also know when to step back and let those I car about take steps on their own, but I'm always waiting in the wings to catch them if they fall. I'm not wanting to dominate, or control or bend my little to my will... what I want is their smile that tells me that they feel safe, their giggle that tells me they feel happy, and the long looks that tell me they feel loved.
- - What are some common punishments you use to discipline, correct, or guide?[\b]
I don't enjoy punishing, I would much rather talk through a little's actions, to have them understand my concerns and come to an agreement to correct the behaviour without discipline. If extra correction is needed, I prefer creative discipline which serve to remind and reinforce rather than to coercively punish. For example, if my little did not brush their teeth before bed, they would need to send me a picture of their toothbrush with toothpaste on it for the next two weeks. As a reward for doing this, they would recieve a new 'little' toothbrush and some fun-flavored toothpaste as a surprise.
- - What are rewards or reward methods you enjoy providing?[\b]
Well, this of course would depend highly on the desires and likes of the little. If my little like to collect certain things, enjoys particular sweets, has a taste for certain movies or books, or like special types of attention and affection... then I want to reward (and spoil) them with the things that are important to them... so they know that not only am I appreciative of what they did... but who they are as unique individuals. I also believe in extra special rewards for accomplishing long and difficult tasks and milestones in their life, like surprise outings to amusement parks, special 'fancy' dinners or shopping trips. I want to reward my little one with things thaat make them happy and feel special.
- - Describe one of your favorite nonsexual fantasies or scenarios:
Simply cuddling on the couch watching a the latest pixar movie (I actualy like kid's movies ) while I braid their hair and give them kisses on the top of their head, just feeling close and content.
- - What are some general nicknames you like to call your little?
Sweets, Sweetie, My Darling or My Little Darling, Little One, and anything cute that fits their personality.
- - What is one thing that all (Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver) Doms should know?
That we're really not the ones with the control in a relationship, and that's the way it's supposed to be. The only control we have is what we're given, and only for as long as we respect our loves and meet their needs. To betray that trust, or to try to take control that isn't given, doesn't make you a Dom... it makes you an abuser. The Dom/Sub relationship should be all about them... not us.
- - What do you think makes a Caregiver Dom different than a regular or general Dominant?
Well, I think it's right there in the title... Caregiver. While I'm certain many CG/l relationships bear similarities to more 'traditional' D/S relationships, the Caregiving and Nurturing should be at the core of any CG/l dynamic. There's a reason that I'm attracted to being a 'Mommy' over being a Dom, and that's because the strictness and control that exists in a D/S relationship can be stripped back to only the bare minimum in a CG/l relationship. I've almost always been a 'top', but I was a service top, because I want to please my partner but take the lead in doing so. My partner always came first (double-entendre intended
), and my pleasure was always in making them satisfied and appreciated. Being a Caregiver allows me to do exactly that, and it is the core of the role, along with supporting growth for the little one. I feel that the bond that a Caregiver can form with their little is such so much deeper, intense and complex than what is possible in any other dynamic.
- - What are 5 nonsexual things you enjoy?
Music, for me it's a powerful drug that can reliably alter my mood.
Cuddling with those I love, including my kitty.
Deep or Philosophical conversations about anything and everything.
Getting to know someone at their core, to learn what makes them tick and what makes them unique.
Faeries... I love collecting just about anything fairy... from Amy Brown to Brian Froud.
- - What are 3 movies you enjoy?
Star Wars... all of them, even the prequels.
Frozen... it was just awesome to see true love be acknowledged and not some cliche Prince saves the day trope.
Bloomington... it's a lesbian romance that touches on MD/lg dynamics, although I wish it had a happier ending.
- - What are 3 of your favorite foods?
I love mexican food, as well as pseudo mexican food like Chipotle.
I make a really yummy pepper stew.
And any food that I can cook for my darling that can put a smile on their face.
- - What are 3 of your favorite songs, bands, or musical artists?
MØ
Purity Ring
The XX
- - What is something you have recently learned?
I was fond of using the word "Paramour" for my partners, and while it does mean "lover" as I had believed, it more specicily means an "illicit lover"... which is still kind of hot in a way, but deffinately wasn't what I was originally intending.
- - What is your current biggest life achievement?
Transitioning... becoming the real 'me' and finally leaving the facade of who I had pretended to be behind. I regret not transitioning earlier, but I didn't know then that it was a real possibility for me. So yeah, being me is my biggest achievement thus far.
- - What do you think of a little who requires a large portion of your attention during your free time?
This is not a problem at all, since I'll be wanting to spend the majority of my free time interacting with my little. It would just be nice to be wanted that much.
- - During an argument or disagreement with a partner, how do you typically react?
I'm very non-confrontational by nature. While I can and do deal with arguement (even serious ones) in my profession on a regular basis, and I do so effectively, heated arguements with loved ones makes me physicaly ill. I prefer that disagreements be handles calmly, so that each person can express their feelings, perspective and intentions clearly to each other. I find to often that agruements are started over misunderstandings, or because critical information was not shared. This is where building trust and respect in a relationship is paramount, because it's very difficult to open up to someone if you don't trust them with your vunerablity... and a relationships without mutual respect, isn't a relationship at all. If after discussing the problem, a disagreement remains, I want to work to reach a compromise, but I don not expect anyone to betray their values and I certainly cannot betray my own. But if both people care for and respect each other, and they don't possess opossing values (which should have been discussed in the beginning of any relationship), then a compromise that honors both parties feelings can surely be met. I just can't do it if there's shouting and hostility, we'll need to take a time-out and calm things down before I can engage .
- - What are some other things you would like to tell a potentially interested partner about yourself?
One thing is that my job is fairly demanding, and I often work 50-60 hours a week, so my freetime is a bit more limited than most, but I am willing (& wanting) to share what freetime I have with my little one. I'm also interested in making new friends with folks that have common interests, so if you want to just chat, fell free to message me. Other than that, all I can say is that I'm an incredibly open person and very difficult to fluster (you're welcome to try)... so don't worry about asking me anything, I'll never be upset by genuine intrest and I'll answer just about anything unless it's intentionaly disrespectful... and I know the difference.
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