Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge. (Age 18 or older only permitted)
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#54039
Synopsis: New relationship. She's in another D/s dynamic. Willing to try CGL. We haven't negotiated yet. I feel very comfortable around her, especially at her house. Go deep into Littlespace. She puts on She-Ra not realizing how much She-Ra is connected to my Little self (and my original childhood), which I subconsciously took as consent to be even more Little. Sucked my thumb, sucked her thumb, lots of cuddling, and talking different.

So, now I'm in Littlespace all the time. Previously in my life it would be like a several second thing and people just took it as me being cute. I didn't even know I was slipping in and out of Littlespace. So, I guess part of my socialization was learning when and for how long to let Little Kymper out.

New gf / sometimes Mommy gets overwhelmed with it all cause she's new to it. Later tells me she feels like my Littleness has violated her consent. Big hurt there. And we needed to talk, just her and big me. But I don't know how to come out of littlespace. And she's unwilling to pull me out of it, which is understandable.

But the things that give me comfort when I'm sad are little things like my stuffies. So, I'm being Little and sad about having forced my Little self on someone, but unable to fully come out of it ipso facto. I do not intend to starve, bottle up, or otherwise run from my Little self. But right now I need to big. Why can't I domain shift and how can I?

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By Deleted User 58349
#54040
being little is just as much part of your personality as anything else about you is, and you can't just get rid of that even if you tried, but it is important for normal societal function to be Big sometimes. things that get me out of little space is usually talking to people that i normally talk to when im Big, such as my biological parents or friends who aren't aware of my little self, or doing Big things like getting ready on my own or cooking up a meal for myself or watching an adult-rated show, maybe try putting yourself in a Big mindset by thinking about your adult responsibilities, bills, a job, finding an apartment or paying your rent, things like that. i hope this helps!! good luck!!

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#54045
You got a taste of the forbidden fruit and that’s all you want now. It’s not that bad though, since a lot of it is mental and you can make choices that benefit you, your partner, and your relationship. With the proper framework we are sure that you can overcome this! It sounds like you have to become as disciplined about your Littlespace as you used to, though, for the sake of your relationship and yourself, even. Instead of getting caught up in what you want to feel and what mood you want to be in you’ll have to rationalize with yourself that sometimes that just isn’t appropriate for the overall happiness of everyone involved in that moment.

Just as Littlespace isn't a magical state where you mentally become a child, "Big" space isn't a state where you're not. You are always still an adult with the skills of being an adult, and you can make the choice to use those skills. Being in Littlespace is ultimately a choice of mood. Your Little thoughts and feelings may always remain present but manifesting or acting upon them is not out of your control. Just because you’re in a certain mood doesn’t mean you can’t feel other feelings and have other thoughts too. You are going to have to snap yourself out of falling deeper and deeper into the relaxing mood of littlespace and reason with yourself that “now” is not the time sometimes.

Growing up we had the tendency to become very quiet and unresponsive whenever confronted. A few months ago, we went through something with our Mommy. We were facing very serious issues, and unfortunately our Regressive traits made it very difficult to talk about them because we wanted to retreat, shut down, and become unresponsive by falling into the safe feeling of regression than dealing with hardship.

Ultimately though, the necessity of having to communicate became greater than our unwillingness to converse. It was a long, difficult, unhappy process but very necessary. Many tears were shed, we felt the need to raise our voice, we had to push ourselves to mutter the hard words at times, we had to speak up about feelings that we thought would be hurtful. We would even convince ourselves that we found resolution, only to circle around and end up in square one. It felt impossible to overcome at times but we kept trying to make progress for our relationship and the bond we share.

We needed our Mommy as our partner, not just as our Mommy even though we sometimes just want her to be Mommy and we just be babies. The only way we were able to overcome our issues was through understanding that sometimes we must do what’s most uncomfortable, even when it goes against what we perceive makes us Little. Only after we started trying to be more talkative about the grownup stuff was when we started becoming better. It took lots of trust in our Mommy that we will be together no matter what difficulties we face. We love one another very much and that’s what matters.

It isn’t a fair expectation of another person to bring you out of Littlespace. Though their identity may be as a Caregiver, that doesn't imply that they're responsible for your all your care and the moods you’re in. You have to make decisions on the spot to do what’s right, even if it doesn’t feel most comfortable for you right then and there. In the end you're in a mature relationship with another adult. And they need as much of your support as you need from them, even if the way you support one another is different in nature. The advantage you have though, is that they could help you from the perspective of being a loving parent.

We strongly suggest that you go to your partner seeking understanding. It might be beneficial to link to what you’ve posted here. Otherwise, if you’re not sure how to initiate conversation, then you could do what you just did with us here and share via text. Jot all your thoughts and feelings down. Go at it with the mentality of wanting the relationship not only as a Caregiver and little but as two adult partners to succeed. Long-term happiness often comes with its share of challenges and occasional stumbles. It’s okay though, these are opportunities to create bonds that last a lifetime. All relationships take teamwork and effort from both sides.

Good luck!

:bheart: :pheart: :pinkh:

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