- 4 years ago
#53947
I'm sorry if this question is a frequently asked thing, but I just really don't know where to go or who I can even approach to ask about this, so I'm going to post this here. Sorry if it's a bit messy.
I've been dating someone for a little over a year now, and it was apparent that after the first few months she revealed that she's into ddlg. I'd like to preface this by saying that I'm extremely open to anything and I believe that a lot of things are normal and people have their own reasons for it, even if it doesn't appeal much to me. She asked me if it was okay for me to be her daddy, and I accepted cause I wanted to try it (note that I've had zero experience of ddlg and I've really only read about it a handful of times), and so, for the next few months, I proceeded to be her daddy. I actually quite enjoyed it for the first 3 straight months of that, but eventually I started to feel a bit.. empty? I don't really know, but what I've come to realise is that I often hide my own problems from her just for the sake of being her daddy, and I began to feel less happier about it, at least I think that's why I felt less happier than the first month of daddying her.
I asked for a break after a bit of an argument and eventually we came to a compromise. Fairly recently, I also came to discover that she age regresses as a form of coping with her stresses and frustrations. Knowing that, I just eventually felt even more guilty for asking for a break as I was her only caregiver in her little space as far as I know. The story at this point probably sounds unorganized and disheveled, but I just needed some answers for the sake of my girlfriend and myself as well.
In the span of a few months, I've been feeling even more saddened and just, empty, I suppose? I feel guilty for not adequately being her caregiver and often find myself getting frustrated over the simplest of things that happened in our relationship. I know she is a little, and I do want to facilitate her, but at the same time, it wasn't the kind of relationship I expected, mostly because I'm gravely inexperienced with DDLG, let alone little space and being a caregiver, and I just feel like I don't necessarily want to always be a caregiver for her. Whenever I become her caregiver, I just keep feeling a lot more detached with myself. It was as if I felt that she only loved me or seeked for me just for my caregiver persona, but I fully know that's not the case, it's just.. I can't shake that feeling off of myself and I eventually feel a bit tired from being a caregiver.
I just want to know whether I'm wrong for being so inadequate and quickly tired and burnt out from this, or should I just deal with it and power through it? I don't want her to seek out for another caregiver, as I'm a bit insecure and fear that she might develop feelings for her caregiver (and yes, I know being a little is a non-physically intimate thing, I'm just paranoid due to some past experiences), but at the same time, I don't feel like I can facilitate her in her little space as much as she would've wanted me to, and I don't want to end up being so tired or frustrated that I'd lash out at her, that's the last thing I'd want to do.
I'm just really confused and frustrated on how to deal with it, and I admit that I've been feeling a bit depressed about it recently as I really don't want to mess up or destroy this relationship.
I've been dating someone for a little over a year now, and it was apparent that after the first few months she revealed that she's into ddlg. I'd like to preface this by saying that I'm extremely open to anything and I believe that a lot of things are normal and people have their own reasons for it, even if it doesn't appeal much to me. She asked me if it was okay for me to be her daddy, and I accepted cause I wanted to try it (note that I've had zero experience of ddlg and I've really only read about it a handful of times), and so, for the next few months, I proceeded to be her daddy. I actually quite enjoyed it for the first 3 straight months of that, but eventually I started to feel a bit.. empty? I don't really know, but what I've come to realise is that I often hide my own problems from her just for the sake of being her daddy, and I began to feel less happier about it, at least I think that's why I felt less happier than the first month of daddying her.
I asked for a break after a bit of an argument and eventually we came to a compromise. Fairly recently, I also came to discover that she age regresses as a form of coping with her stresses and frustrations. Knowing that, I just eventually felt even more guilty for asking for a break as I was her only caregiver in her little space as far as I know. The story at this point probably sounds unorganized and disheveled, but I just needed some answers for the sake of my girlfriend and myself as well.
In the span of a few months, I've been feeling even more saddened and just, empty, I suppose? I feel guilty for not adequately being her caregiver and often find myself getting frustrated over the simplest of things that happened in our relationship. I know she is a little, and I do want to facilitate her, but at the same time, it wasn't the kind of relationship I expected, mostly because I'm gravely inexperienced with DDLG, let alone little space and being a caregiver, and I just feel like I don't necessarily want to always be a caregiver for her. Whenever I become her caregiver, I just keep feeling a lot more detached with myself. It was as if I felt that she only loved me or seeked for me just for my caregiver persona, but I fully know that's not the case, it's just.. I can't shake that feeling off of myself and I eventually feel a bit tired from being a caregiver.
I just want to know whether I'm wrong for being so inadequate and quickly tired and burnt out from this, or should I just deal with it and power through it? I don't want her to seek out for another caregiver, as I'm a bit insecure and fear that she might develop feelings for her caregiver (and yes, I know being a little is a non-physically intimate thing, I'm just paranoid due to some past experiences), but at the same time, I don't feel like I can facilitate her in her little space as much as she would've wanted me to, and I don't want to end up being so tired or frustrated that I'd lash out at her, that's the last thing I'd want to do.
I'm just really confused and frustrated on how to deal with it, and I admit that I've been feeling a bit depressed about it recently as I really don't want to mess up or destroy this relationship.