Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge. (Age 18 or older only permitted)
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#53523
Please read this information that will help you recognize your current situation and potentially improve your odds at finding partnership.

FAQ: FREQUENT QUESTIONS WE NO LONGER ACCEPT (PLEASE SEE THIS FIRST) (READ THIS FIRST)

FAQ: HOW DO I FIND A PARTNER THAT'S INTO CAREGIVER/LITTLE ASPECTS?

Ask yourself: How have you conducted your search?

A few quick tips:

Partnering takes time and effort.

Caregiver personalities are more prevalent than the community may lead you to believe. A person that truly loves you will naturally extend care and compassion towards you. You don't need to find somebody that already identifies as a Caregiver to provide you with your very human needs of love, warmth and affection.

Love should go both ways. Regardless of relationship dynamic, extending love and compassion to your partner is healthy. Even kids show love and appreciation to their parents.

A very simple thought that will help you in your search is

What can I offer to a potential partner?

Not to be too critical in this post, but oftentimes we see Littles in the same situation as you, wondering the same thing. Placing impossible expectations on potential partners while not really offering much in return.

You are not alone. There are people that often wonder the same things as you do. Some amazing feedback given to a few people having trouble establishing relationships:

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#53524
A Caregiver or a Mommy is a partner just like anyone else. CGL is a relationship dynamic between two or more people. Relationships take a lot of effort to not only maintain but also to build together. Fulfilling long-term romance takes awhile to find because it is special.

Caregivers are not just that one single label. We are each individuals with our own interests and preferences too. There is so much to being seriously romantically compatible with another person, and CGL is absolutely a romance. Any good dating advice applies to partnering up with one of any gender. There is no special voodoo magic to it. If you're not finding success then you should re-evaluate where you are looking, your approach to prospective partners, and your own personal dating skills (Google has a wide variety by typing in something like "best dating tips" and you can pull up YouTube videos of "best dating advice" outright explaining good tips that may be useful for more visual learners). Try searching for:
  • Online dating tips for men
  • Successful dating tips for men
  • Best dating advice
  • How to find a girlfriend
  • How to attract a girlfriend
  • How to approach a woman
  • How to approach a woman on a dating site
  • How can a man improve his online dating profile
  • Dating profile tips
You may need to work on conversational skills, manners, initial impressions you make, your wardrobe, or any number of important points so I can't really say where you're going wrong necessarily but can point you to general advice to get you started if you take it seriously. You may want to search for:
  • How to dress on a first date
  • Conversation topics for first date
  • First date manners
  • First date etiquette
  • Dating etiquette
  • Dating manners
  • First date expectations
  • How to get a second date
  • How to impress a date
  • How to prepare for a date
As a generic tip in online dating, I can tell you that since I am the admin of DateCGL as well that the community often tends to forget to answer these questions on dating profiles:
  • What I have to offer my to-be-partner.
  • Why you should contact me.
  • How I stand out from the rest of the available littles/caregivers.
  • What I want to do to make you happy too.
  • What I'm willing to put into our relationship to make sure it's the best for us.
  • When I can be available to message, chat, talk, or meet-up with you.
If your question here is really more centered around your gender then I don't particularly believe that male littles are any less desirable than females or any other gender identity. Personally, I'm a Mommy and one of my AB twins is a boy and my middle is cis-male. My twins are typically male-presenting with traditionally thought of as having male anatomy. My partners are not forced to change genders at any point, sissified, or degraded for the bodies they have. I do not secretly wish my partners were anything other than who they are, including their body types. Gender is not nearly as important to me as the ability to communicate well, appreciate me and my efforts, and willingly to make me mutually happy too. Again, dating is much, much more than just someone's gender, just someone's label in one community, just someone's hair color, or just someone's interest in one single subject.

So, keep making personal improvements on yourself and keep searching. You'd rather find someone who takes your relationship seriously than someone who makes a fling of it just because they have one label you like. Just because you find a Mommy doesn't mean you should actually be with that Mommy because, again, compatibility extends far past one label a person has on themselves. A Mommy is not necessarily your Mommy. Many people take a decade or more to partner up into something that is worthwhile and lasts. I am 33, have been a part of the community since about 2001, and only just now finding solid relationships. Oh, and, yeah, I'm a cis-female Mommy so that point extends well past adult babies and littles. Most people have to search, struggle, and grow to be able to find someone who makes their heart the happiest it's ever felt.

Also, there is an actual, completely free, CGL based dating site to explore. I think my advice covers the basic points though.

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#53532
As a female who no longer dates men, I've found that most men put impossible demands and expectations for care on me. I struggle to take care of myself and have generally found that men expect me to take on responsibility for their needs in addition to my own without offering me enough care in return to make it possible. I don't want/need more demand on my limited emotional resources, I need PARTNER that can reciprocate with me to build to a healthy partnership where are BOTH cared for adequately. I'm sure this is possible in a CG/L relationship. Nothing would make me run faster than that feeling that the person I'm dating will consume all my energy and not even support me in return.

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#53533
I need PARTNER that can reciprocate with me to build to a healthy partnership where are BOTH cared for adequately.
That's a very healthy thing to expect out of a relationship. We know it exists even in CG/L because we have been in a relationship with Mommy for 3 years, and we do very well in listening to each other's wants and needs and addressing issues together. We try to make each other happy as much as we can. Being caring is not an exclusive trait in a Caregiver.

I've found that most men put impossible demands and expectations for care on me.
That's a purely sexist comment. :sadno: :sadno:
We can see this being applicable to any gender. Generally, we would say that people (gender irrelevant) misunderstand what the community is about, enough for most to believe that all Littles should just take take take, be excessively clingy and demanding, disregard their caregiver as also just being a human, be overly emotionally demanding and mentally dependent where sometimes it is neglectful or even cruel to the caregiver. The assumption that children are absolutely and completely incapable to give love, appreciation, respect, and some form of care in return is so wrong but something that exists in our community.

Unfortunately, we're not at a point yet where CG/L relationships are viewed as analogous to regular "vanilla" relationships, so that idea isn't held or spread enough. Unfortunately, a lot (not all but a lot) of people (regardless of gender) are thinking that the CG/L partnership is just pure fantasy where someone is a selfless superhuman who needs absolutely nothing but the existence of the other and the other is someone who is just a greedy, inept being who is only capable of self fulfillment. We have to continue working on this. It isn't the issue of one gender not understanding how happy relationships work.

Just, it's a community issue, and not tied or related to a single gender.

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