You don't need
to tell your boyfriend that you experience some level of regression. If your boyfriend currently accepts your quirky personality traits you exhibit right now as they are with no special identifying label then forcing him to apply a label could make him uncomfortable, depending on his current educated status on the community and acceptance to become further educated. Basically, you could
be making it feel complicated for him--especially if the relationship is new or freshly overcoming an obstacle.
It's really a personal decision you will have to make for yourself if you would like him to acknowledge that you are "being little" versus no specific label. There is no right or wrong answer to that question. Knowing the label realistically doesn't change anything except acknowledging the person is atypical so it really may not be necessary if he already accepts you. That acknowledgement may
be fulfilling to you though since it would be coming from your partner. Though, keep in mind that just because someone acknowledges your regression it doesn't mean it's okay to automatically assume they will take on a specific role with you during it.
If you choose to tell him then I suggest you come prepared with answers to questions he may likely ask (some possible questions are listed in our coming out guide
), leave the conversation door open for him to ask anything without you becoming too heated or defensive (sometimes people will ask the questions pertaining to no-no subjects in the community but we should keep in mind that they're just trying to learn about us
), encourage him to research with you on sites you provide (so that he doesn't stumble upon something incorrect or that just doesn't really apply to who you are; it's a great idea to join community sites together
), and emphasize that you have always been this way and it is just who you are and not necessarily an act you put on.
I feel it's important to move slowly and at your partner's pace with learning about it, and a lot of times that means not bringing up fet-ish, kink, or BDSM initially since it can feel like a quick leap from, "I feel like a child who just never grew up," to the misunderstanding of, "I want to be a biological child again and engage in these certain acts that children do not generally engage in!" It can be too much to take in and process at once initially if you're mixing in adult intimacy and childlike qualities all at once without it being a question they've brought up themselves. It's best to stick to basic details that are easy to digest, and point out that you've already showed him this part of yourself since you've been so comfortable around him (give him clear examples so he can remember too
). It can also be important to reassure him that you are not magically changing or expecting him to do anything new on his end of the relationship.
Our resources are here:
This is our basic coming out guide that might provide you a little more advice: