[hobisunshine]

I’m 18, and I have been since February 2018. But I kind of just don’t feel 18 sometimes?

I’m a full time uni student, and I also have a job, plus I live at home with my parents. I mean, I can’t really take care of myself though.

I don’t know how to drive and I don’t know how to cook. If I lived on my own I wouldn’t survive.

I’d rather not survive in all honestly.

I hate living with my parents, who honestly are the most judgemental people you could ever meet. I don’t like being a uni student and having a job - I want to cuddle my plush toys all day.

I’ve had some of my plush toys since birth, and I still sleep with them every night. I feel detached from myself if I’m away from my favourite one.

I get told stories about how I used to cry and cry when I had them taken away from me, and honestly I’m still the same. I won’t actually cry, but I very much feel like it.

They make me feel safe I guess.

And I often wonder what it would be like to have a paci. I look through the baby aisle sometimes at stores, and want to buy them. But I’m scared of falling into a space I can’t control when I know there’s no one who would be willing to take care of me.

I’m told to grow up a lot by everyone around me, because I’m childish. I like colouring in and drinking warm milk and watching cartoons; and I especially like chicken nuggets.

I have majority dark clothing because tbh it’s all I wear, but I have sweater paws a lot too because it makes me feel safer.

I live in a home where I’m abused daily (verbal - they don’t hit me anymore), and these kinds of things are an escape to me.

I don’t know if I’m a little, but I do hate going to uni and having a job. It’s too stressful and I can’t deal with it.

I suffer from extreme anxiety and severe depression (I’m on medications), and everything is a massive chore to me.

I want to be coddled and taken care of.

So... I guess I want to know how others found out they were a little, and if, by what I’ve said, I’m a little too.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

[Motherly]

I wanted to say that there's a few threads already about this, but one of them already has 13 replies regarding the question, "How did you know you were a little?" It might be most helpful to read through because I'm honestly not sure if a second topic thread about this question will get as many replies:

viewtopic.php?p=47791#p47791

In terms of your own personal self-discovery, please realize that nobody here knows you on a deeply personal level and that you know yourself best. You can list off reasons why someone would say you are or aren't little but they aren't in a position to "evaluate" you. You know yourself best and this is an incredibly personal discovery. Nobody is more of an expert of who you are, and you are your own most reliable source for determining if you are a little. There isn't a check-off list and you can't really even see a licensed therapist for a reliable "little diagnosis" because it's not a psychological condition identified within the DSM (the official Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Please see our FAQ about discovering yourself and being little:

FAQ: Am I a little? / What is a little? / How do I know if I'm a little?

You can use keywords to search our forum for posts that already exist too:

viewtopic.php?p=41281#p41281