- 7 years ago
#19900
I know this post is a bit old, but I wanted to reply to this for anybody else who may be interested. I am pretty new to this website but have been in the AB/little community on various websites for years, since I was in my teens (started when I was about 15). I met lots of people in the community (online only, never met anybody in real life yet). I made lots of friends. Pretty good friends, who you could tell anything to - and we did, we had lots of in-depth discussions about everything from food to mental health. And the latter was a topic that came up a lot. Unfortunately I'm not in contact with most of those people any more, when I went to uni and had no private internet access I was out of the community for 3 years, when I came back I was a bit lost and lost contact with most of them.
Anyway, I digress.... mental health issues affect about 1 in 3 people in the general population - that is a LOT of people. If you work somewhere with, say, 12 people then 4 will have some form of mental health issues at some point. However, in my experience I do think that people in this community have an above average rate of mental health issues (diagnosed and undiagnosed). It is probably closer to 50%+.
I do believe there is a reason for this. As I'm sure everybody knows, this community is very diverse. There are lots of different 'interests' and often people with different wants and needs are lumped into the same sort of category. There are DLs, there are ABs/TBs, there are littles, carers, there are even lots of furries overlapping into this community too and even BeDeeSeM. I have found that mental health issues do disproportionately seem to affect the AB and little community. These are the people who usually aren't in it for some sort of physically intimate kink, but in it for the comfort and support. These are people who feel lost in the world and feel helpless and just long for somebody to care for them. And these are the ones who 'knew' they were little before they entered their teens and started to get physically intimate feelings. And this links very heavily with anxiety and depression. People have anxiety and depression, they feel lost, feel lonely, they want somebody to just take care of the world for them. And they develop strategies to help them feel better - coping mechanisms. Feeling 'little' and shutting out the grown-up stresses of the world for a little while just makes things feel a bit better. And you know what, depression and anxiety can be awful, awful things - some people lean towards substance abuse, drinking etc. So actually, the 'little' side is actually an amazingly cool protective coping mechanism.
I say all of this not only because of my experience talking to other people, but also my own personal experience. I sort of 'knew' I was little when I was about 6. I was always quite a stressed child, I worried about everything. I was a very grown-up child and unfortunately didn't have the best of childhoods. I remember when I was about 6 I just wanted to wear a nappy and be cuddled and wanted somebody to love me. It wasn't just some passing thought either, it was on my mind a lot. And it's stayed with me, through later childhood, into my teens and now adulthood. I used to suffer with horrendous panic attacks. And really dark depression. When all of that stuff was at it's worst was when I longed most for the 'little' side. I would rely on my teddy a lot and my dummy to self-soothe. Hence my user name! It helped me a lot when I was at my worst. And inversely... these days, as I am actually feeling more stable, less anxious and feeling better about myself, I actually long to go down the carer route - I would like to care for somebody/be daddy. I know how much being little helped me when I was feeling bad, and I'd like to help somebody else feel that safety. You do find that can happen too, people who have been through mental health problems are often the ones who want to help others - there seems to anecdotally be more people with mental health issues who work in the mental health sector (I've also had lots of discussions with/am friends with people who work in the field.)
So... I think the moral of my story is that if you ever feel alone with your anxiety, depression or other mental health dissorders such as bipolar, PTSD, personality disorders etc, you are not alone. There are a lot of people in the general population who you go past every day who probaby have similar problems unknown to you. However, here in this community there are a lot of people too who have the same problems - more than you could ever know. You absolutely are not alone. Embrace your [healthy] coping mechanisms, embrace your little side, embrace colouring pictures and snuggling with your teddies. And if you can, try to talk to people. It's easier said than done, I know - when you have anxiety and depression you can feel like you aren't deserving of other people's companionship and friendship. But you are. When I went through my difficult phase and was struggling to cope, that's when I reached out to the AB community (back then I didn't even know the term 'little'!) Try talking to people in the community, they may surprise you with how well they understand you.
</end rant>
Anyway, I digress.... mental health issues affect about 1 in 3 people in the general population - that is a LOT of people. If you work somewhere with, say, 12 people then 4 will have some form of mental health issues at some point. However, in my experience I do think that people in this community have an above average rate of mental health issues (diagnosed and undiagnosed). It is probably closer to 50%+.
I do believe there is a reason for this. As I'm sure everybody knows, this community is very diverse. There are lots of different 'interests' and often people with different wants and needs are lumped into the same sort of category. There are DLs, there are ABs/TBs, there are littles, carers, there are even lots of furries overlapping into this community too and even BeDeeSeM. I have found that mental health issues do disproportionately seem to affect the AB and little community. These are the people who usually aren't in it for some sort of physically intimate kink, but in it for the comfort and support. These are people who feel lost in the world and feel helpless and just long for somebody to care for them. And these are the ones who 'knew' they were little before they entered their teens and started to get physically intimate feelings. And this links very heavily with anxiety and depression. People have anxiety and depression, they feel lost, feel lonely, they want somebody to just take care of the world for them. And they develop strategies to help them feel better - coping mechanisms. Feeling 'little' and shutting out the grown-up stresses of the world for a little while just makes things feel a bit better. And you know what, depression and anxiety can be awful, awful things - some people lean towards substance abuse, drinking etc. So actually, the 'little' side is actually an amazingly cool protective coping mechanism.
I say all of this not only because of my experience talking to other people, but also my own personal experience. I sort of 'knew' I was little when I was about 6. I was always quite a stressed child, I worried about everything. I was a very grown-up child and unfortunately didn't have the best of childhoods. I remember when I was about 6 I just wanted to wear a nappy and be cuddled and wanted somebody to love me. It wasn't just some passing thought either, it was on my mind a lot. And it's stayed with me, through later childhood, into my teens and now adulthood. I used to suffer with horrendous panic attacks. And really dark depression. When all of that stuff was at it's worst was when I longed most for the 'little' side. I would rely on my teddy a lot and my dummy to self-soothe. Hence my user name! It helped me a lot when I was at my worst. And inversely... these days, as I am actually feeling more stable, less anxious and feeling better about myself, I actually long to go down the carer route - I would like to care for somebody/be daddy. I know how much being little helped me when I was feeling bad, and I'd like to help somebody else feel that safety. You do find that can happen too, people who have been through mental health problems are often the ones who want to help others - there seems to anecdotally be more people with mental health issues who work in the mental health sector (I've also had lots of discussions with/am friends with people who work in the field.)
So... I think the moral of my story is that if you ever feel alone with your anxiety, depression or other mental health dissorders such as bipolar, PTSD, personality disorders etc, you are not alone. There are a lot of people in the general population who you go past every day who probaby have similar problems unknown to you. However, here in this community there are a lot of people too who have the same problems - more than you could ever know. You absolutely are not alone. Embrace your [healthy] coping mechanisms, embrace your little side, embrace colouring pictures and snuggling with your teddies. And if you can, try to talk to people. It's easier said than done, I know - when you have anxiety and depression you can feel like you aren't deserving of other people's companionship and friendship. But you are. When I went through my difficult phase and was struggling to cope, that's when I reached out to the AB community (back then I didn't even know the term 'little'!) Try talking to people in the community, they may surprise you with how well they understand you.
</end rant>
but most of them want you to be dependent
- By princejayjay
- By Yori
- By LilBeth