- 8 years ago
#982
It's possible that you two have outgrown each other or that you need to have a serious conversation to figure out what type of compromises each of you need to make.
Good relationships are full of compromises from both parties. If you feel so strongly that you NEED something to maintain your happiness in a relationship then he needs to know that it is a must-do and that if he doesn't really want to do it that it is a compromise he NEEDS to make.
The same goes for you though. If you know he really, really, REALLY despises something that you can certainly live happily without then you should consider compromising with him and either finding a middle ground that meets both of your needs or let him 'have it his way' since it isn't a need of yours.
This is going to boil down to you needing to have a serious talk with him. I'd suggest that if you two are long distance that you both hop on a video chat like Skype and talk it over. Don't be afraid to cry and tell him how deeply this is causing distress.
If you don't ever tell him, he isn't going to know how important this is to you. He isn't a mind reader and neither are you. Maybe he's pulling back in some areas because he, himself, feels neglected. We don't know.
So, let him know that you two need to have a serious, time-dedicated 'date' to talk about some things that are on your mind. Then, let him know without blaming him. Say things like:
I don't want things to end and this is why I'm coming to you with my thoughts here.
I'm worried about where we are headed and it's kind of scary on my end.
I need you to know about some thing I've been thinking about lately.
I think we have a really good thing going on, but I also know that we both have needs that might be met right now. I want to talk about that and have everything all laid out on the table so we know how to go from here.
ALSO: If he is pressuring you to send him physically intimate pictures or video then that is not okay. If you're not comfortable with certain sexually-intended situations then you certainly should not compromise with those. If your Daddy doesn't understand that you are delicate and need to be nurtured to feel safe and comfortable then he isn't being a very good Daddy.