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#12903
I think you all are talking about two separate things. Income and occupation. To me they are completely separate and you can't learn one from knowing the other. If I told someone I was a writer early on in our conversation I would probably do that because it helped describe who I was, what my interests and passions are. But it wouldn't say anything about my financial status other than that I most probably was struggling. But I could also be GRR Martin and worth gazillions.

Telling someone about what your work is isn't always about your income. For me personally my occupation probably says a lot about who I am, my basic values in life and views concerning our world and societies. Pretty basic but important stuff. Something that I would bring up early on.

Telling someone about your income is something completely different and just awkward and sad if you feel the need to do that in the first few conversations.

Just my couple of cents on the matter..

Peace

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By A_little_bitten
#14430
I would understand occupation, because as Star said, for many adults it's the thing they soend most of their time, energy, and attention doing, so it's a large part of their identity.

On the other hand, if what was stated was *income* rather than occupation, I would be confused and a bit weirded out. Because I don't need to know how much money you make any more than you need to know how much money I make. Eventually, perhaps, if it's relevant to the relationship (awkward to date within a vast income discrepancy and discover your partner has been blowing their entire discretionary budget on what were just casual dates for you). But not in the first conversation!

So: you're both right, and talking past each other.
#14638
olivine wrote:If I don't know you, aren't dating you then there is no earthly reason why I should care or ask about your occupation in the slightest. Even in a "in person" situation there is no way in hell I'd ask someone for their income. Do you know how awkward that would be?
To me there is still a difference between asking someone about their income versus what they do with 8 to 10 hours of their day everyday aka their job. Maybe its all the same to you but for many of us there is a difference. Asking someone what they do for a living seems like a natural part of conversation whether getting to know someone online or in person. Just my opinion.
#21629
Even when making friends with someone, a question that comes up early in conversation is "what do you do?" Most adults spend the vast majority of their time at their jobs, it's a pretty common and normal thing to ask someone...and like a_little_bitten said, telling you what I do for a living doesn't mean you'll have any idea how much money I have or how much I make.


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#21687
Perhaps you choose what you speak about when in "little space".. don't forget, many caregivers are in "caregiver space" 24/7.

Personally, this is who I am. I am the same caregiver when I am working, shopping, taking a walk or even having lunch. Work might be a stressful thing for a caregiver, maybe they just want to share and get it off their chest, maybe it just plays a big part in their life and they want to share that with you.

It seems like the latter, it plays a part in their life, so they share it. Also, it is frequently mentioned in the dating profiles here. I wouldn't read into it too much. If they were a student, they'd mention that too. If I was you, I'd be more worried if they concealed what they did for a living..
#21883
Well sometimes people are telling you in a way so they can learn about you. I.E. if I say I am a full time student and have a full time job. They are telling you "hey yeah I'm busy a lot of the time, but I am still interested in talking to you" and theY are making an easy Segway to learning about what you do most of your day. Out side of little space. If you are posting something or responding to a personal ad. It is kinda a unspoken agreement that you can tell the other person about yourself. Sometimes it's even a spoken agreement. And if you don't want to talk about that certain subject please just tell them. If they don't stop, then just stop talking to them. Most people really are not telling you to brag or anything of that sort, they are probably just trying to continue the conversation.

I understand that you don't want to hear about it, and any respecting cg would respect your wish to not talk about it. But keep in mind some to some people their job is really really important to them. They are happy with where they are and are looking for someone who would be happy to be there with them.

Don't take any offense to what I say. I'm willing to hear what you think of course, but I'm not responding to start any kind of argument just to help answer your question.
#24289
Mandelstam76 wrote:I think you all are talking about two separate things. Income and occupation. To me they are completely separate and you can't learn one from knowing the other. If I told someone I was a writer early on in our conversation I would probably do that because it helped describe who I was, what my interests and passions are. But it wouldn't say anything about my financial status other than that I most probably was struggling. But I could also be GRR Martin and worth gazillions.

Telling someone about what your work is isn't always about your income. For me personally my occupation probably says a lot about who I am, my basic values in life and views concerning our world and societies. Pretty basic but important stuff. Something that I would bring up early on.

Telling someone about your income is something completely different and just awkward and sad if you feel the need to do that in the first few conversations.

Just my couple of cents on the matter..

Peace

Skickat från min Nexus 5 via Tapatalk

I have to agree with this. I have a full time job that I am quite passionate about and it also takes up a lot of my time in a week. If I'm talking about my job, it's because I want you to understand the things I am passionate about and make sure you either A.) Agree with the thing I do and/or B.) Understand the time commitment I have which effects my availability. Whereas, I, personally, would never talk with someone on the first conversation about my income, some may feel the need to mention it because perhaps it's something they've worked very hard for and are proud to say they live a comfortable life. Or, they are trying to impress you to show you that they would be a good caregiver towards you because to them money means comfort. I can see in a first conversation someone saying "So, what do you like to do in your free time?" and my answer, as a caregiver, would be "Well, I don't have much free time due to my full time job that I am quite passionate about, so that's a hard question for me to answer". And if that answer doesn't suit you or what you're looking for in a caregiver, then there's no harm or shame in saying goodbye and moving on with your day.

Remember that we're all human and sometimes we as caregivers are just as awkward at making conversation so we default to what we know. Try not to be judgmental and strive to be understanding of people different than yourself.
#36793
I completely agree with JuneStar.
I think it's important to talk about your career because even at the most basic level it's telling me what this person is doing for a minimum of 40 hours/week. It also just gives you another point where you can connect.

For example: I'm a full-time student.
It can not only be an opportunity to share stories about our college experience, but also tells the person, that I will most likely be busy at the end of May and again at the end of the year.

I also think that talking about your career is normal because most people want to talk about the thing they do everyday. The same way that when your a student you most liely talked about what projects you have coming up, or what school events you're lookinf foward to, because it's something you immersed in every day.

But I don't think talking about your career is the same thing as talking about your income. If I said I was a doctor, it tells you what I do, but not what kind of practice I have, or how much money I make.

I agree with Olivine in the fact that, it's weird if in the FIRST conversation I'm having, you tell me how much money you make. I don't think, even if we knew each other, and had met personally that is something that should come up.

I also agree that, as a little, I don't care how much money you make, I don't want someone to financially support me, I want someone to take care of me.I also don't want my caregiver to think I'm a gold differ either.

But again, I think talking about the thing you do everyday is only natural and a normal talking point for most people.
#38140
I'm going to have to say it's because we are grownups. We spend a lot of our day working so we can make all of the money in order to shower our Little with gifts. In order to have the cars in the driveway and the house with the driveway we have to work on so it's kind a like a big deal to us. Wow you Littles need someone to make use feel safe and secure, sometimes daddies need to vent and we like nothing more than for our Little to listen quietly in silent adoration like the sweet one she is.

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