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By Chica1234
#47039
I am in a relationship with a Little. I am enjoying a lot of aspects of caring for him during times of Play (changing him, giving him a bottle, telling him how cute he is). I do not identify as a Mommy but I like being his Mommy. My question is: does anyone who has entered into an AbDl relationship with no previous experience have tips for acclimating? I am very fearful about letting down my boyfriend when he is vulnerable and Little and this has lead to some anxiety about playing/drawing boundaries. Any insight about helpful ways to discuss or set boundaries would be greatly appreciated. My boyfriend is very special and is very fearful of being rejected for being Little.

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#47136
Huh. I typed and sent a reply to this but I don't think it went through. Anyway.

Be honest. Don't try to make yourself do something you're uncomfortable or unwilling to do for fear of letting him down - it's better to do so now and let him feel briefly disappointed than get into something and then say you can't do it anymore. Plus that can breed resentment and dislike of the caregiver/little dynamic for the person who's doing things they don't want to do.

Have an open discussion about what you can and can't do for him, and listen to his needs and priorities. Compromise is important in relationships and you can definitely approach certain things at a later date if they're important to him, but "compromise" also doesn't mean "doing something you hate to make someone else happy," since ultimately it'll make you both miserable. I understand the temptation to agree to things just to go along with keeping people happy but trust me, it never works long-term! Make sure you're in a clear and "equal" headspace when you discuss these things as well.

You sound like a great girlfriend if you're willing to give this a shot for your boyfriend. He must be really special to you!

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#48359
A good way to discuss and set boundaries is when you are doing something together and bonding as you discuss such things; you could wash / dry the dishes together, hung up/ take down washing and then sort it together or even something simple like reading a book or colouring in / redesigning /diy/ customisation of clothing, dummy, bottle or similar
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