[minahbird]

I'm in a bit of a confusing and awkward situation. I live with my parents, as their carer (both are elderly). As I'm both constantly needed at home (except for the very rare occasions I can take a holiday) and somewhat disabled, I'm unable to get a job, which means no moving out, even if I wasn't needed. on top of that, my parents are not the most understanding people. While I'm very open-minded and basically take an 'as long as you don't hurt someone or something and you're not breaking any laws, you do you' approach to life, my parents are both at least somewhat conservative. They have a lot of trouble understanding alternative sexualities/ lifestyles.

Needless to say, being a pansexual little...not the easiest thing in the world to be open about. As a result, I'm kind of stuck with the fact that I'm going to have to have a LDR with my very first daddy/mommy. Not the best situation, and certainly not my favorite considering I am extremely affectionate and love hugs, but they would never understand the whole CG/l thing, let alone if I were to have a mommy.

So my question is this: How do CGs feel about a little in my kind of situation? Would it put you off? Would you accept it? Try to embrace it/ overcome it? I've never had a chance to make that kind of a bond before, and I guess I'd kind of like to know if it's even possible for someone like me or if it's something I shouldn't even really bother with.

[Ami]

As someone who has done it successfully in the past, I suggest strongly that you maintain a sense of being complete within relationship. That is to say, not considering LDR's as second best or somehow lacking.

You can have an entirely satisfying and happy relationship, long distance. Particularly today as you can make online avatars, video/voice chat, message each other whenever you choose, but I am sure you are aware of the services available.

I don't think everyone can do it, but I believe that is largely by choice, be it conscious or not.
If people consider their relationship as missing something because it is not physical, then they are inherently going to make themselves unhappy. Essentially they are making their happiness and the success of the relationship conditional, predicated on whether it has the physical aspect or not.

I think it might give pause to less emotionally mature people. I have met plenty of people throughout the years that for one reason or another are in long distance relationships and are happy. They tend to be very secure, trusting and loving people. They are not the kind to raid phones and accuse people of cheating because they were delayed on the way home from work. They are the kind to stick by their partner, not rush off at the first hiccup.

Like anything, it has it's pro's and con's. I think if they are not willing to give you the time of day because you are unable to "make it RL" at this point, then perhaps they are the ones missing out.

[kawaii_mommy]

It's definitely hard. I've had a lot of bad experiences with it. But that doesn't mean it can't work for you. There just absolutely has to be trust and communication way more than abnormal relationship. If things get too difficult don't force yourself to stay. Theyre hard to do. Can be done.

[LittleLampurrKitty]

With your situation it's hard on you because it somewhat limits you in a sense of how open you can be about this part of your life. There are many ways to approach your parents about stuff like this and while it would be delightful to be able to openly talk to them about things, A lot of kink related stuff is very personal to people and provides a sense of insecurity when brought out into light. In my opinion, as far as things go; long distance relationships provide a make it or break it bond. You and the other person either work out really well or you don't. The reason being is because distance is hard on relationships but it's also beneficial. Not being able to physically see or hold another person provides a sense of craving and wanting that person. At the same time a long distance relationship helps you see if you can sustain with a person and essentially. If you can be without them on a daily basis because they're so far away then if you two come together then everything becomes significantly stronger.
For long distance relationships a primary factor in this is that, in society as of recently a lot of people like hookups and more one night stands than commitment that ultimately leads to heart break. That being said, a LDR provides that sense of knowing whether or not you two have chemistry because if that physical aspect isn't there then you primarily fall in love with the persons Personality + their physical features. Not just Their physical features and maybe some similarities with their personality. Reason being is because if you two aren't meant to be and it' s a LDR Then you'll know pretty quickly because you'll see their character and yours conflict because that's the main thing you have to go off of in the bond.

That all being said, LDR relationships are good and bad, and you can't judge how close you are to someone really by how long you've known them or if they are close to you or far away from you, the best way to know how close you are to them is based on how well you know them and what kind-of foundation you have with them. The foundation in the beginning of a relationship is everything, if you two trust each other then that doubt and un-surity fades rather quickly or just doesn't happen because you trust each other enough to know they wouldn't try and hurt you. And then it becomes a "If I get hurt and I end up needing to go to the hospital, do I know that this person will take care of me and stay there with me? Or will they take me and then just leave me because I become a burden" There are deep and real scenarios that define who your real friends are and who are just there for the good times. The same can be said about relationships and S/O's.

To respond to your other question as a Caregiver/mommy figure, I personally especially in your situation would do my best to reassure the person within my own physical limits and what I mean by that is. If you're worried about your parents not handling the information well, I'd with you (or with any other little I'd ever have) talk to them about it so you wouldn't have to be alone when you did it.

To try and not be as biased considering I'm someone who would like to be your CG/Mommy figure I tried to put as much logic and reason+ emotion behind the insight because you asked primarily for advice.

[DrDaddyBear]

From a purely neurological/molecular perspective Long Distance Relationships are far from ideal. We as human beings are simply designed for certain kinds of physical contact. So much so that certain acts when done to yourself trigger one set of hormonal release and when accomplished by someone else the combination of immune response hormonal release and physical contact trigger a cascade of additional hormones that induce pair bonding. The human body really is an amazing thing.

That means the potential of a long distance relationship will always be less than that of a local one. Does that make it worse? No. Just different.

Lets say I have a box that is big enough for all of my little's stuffies so that none of them get lonely when moving. Is a bigger box better? No, and in fact could be worse because they could move and get hurt. It is like that with different kinds of relationships. Bigger is not always better.

Now I tend to the role of protector, that is difficult for me to do at a distance. Even long drives can make things worse for me, but again, that is me. I also help care for an aging parent, so I understand that. Maybe you and your CG could find something in between, or perhaps they could move to be closer to you?

Sorry I just read the part where you have not yet had a CG. Have you tried attending gatherings of scene folks? Trying some more popular but less focused sites? Heck I found a friendly sub and an LG (not mine sadly) on a vanilla dating app.