Would you rather? This or that? What's your favorite? Let's have fun!
#28678
This is an old joke I know from when I was a raft guide in WV.

A fly is flying down the river one day, just like that one! *point*. There is a fish in the river looking up at the fly and says to himself "Man, if that fly would just drop 6 inches, I could eat me some lunch!"

At the same time there is a bear on the edge of the river. He sees the fly, he sees the fish, and he says to himself "Man, if that fly would drop six inches, that fish would jump out of the water, I could grab the fish and eat me some lunch!"

On the other side of the river is a hunter, eating his measly cheese sandwich for lunch. He sees the fly, he sees the fish, and he sees the bear. He thinks to himself, "Man, if that fly dropped 6 inches, that fish would jump out the water, the bear would come out of the woods to grab the fish, I can shoot the bear, row across the river and eat me some lunch!"

In the rocks where the hunter is sitting, there is a little mouse hiding. The mouse sees the fly, the fish, the bear, the hunter, and says "If that fly would drop 6 inches, that fish would jump out the water, the bear will come out of the woods and grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, and leave his cheese sandwich when he rows across the river and I'm gonna eat me some lunch!"

Above the whole landscape sits a single cat, observing. Now remember, cats are smart, everyone has been saying this whole time, "Man, if this would happen", not the case for this guy. This cat KNOWS whats going to happen.

The cat says to himself "That fly is going to drop 6 inches, that fish is going to grab the fly, the bear is going to grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and leave the cheese sandwich when he rows across the river, then the mouse will scurry out of the rocks to get the cheese sandwich. I'm gonna pounce on that mouse and, eat me some lunch!"

So what happens?

The fly drop 6 inches, the fish jumps out of the water, the bear charges out of the woods, the hunter shoots the bear and drops his cheese sandwich, the mouse scurries out of the rocks, the cat crouches down, leaps, and lands in the freaking water!

The moral of the story: When a fly drops 6 inches, a kitty cave is bound to get wet!

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#36813
I love stupid jokes and puns! I make them all the time and it's always under appreciated but I think it's absolutely hilarious!
Hehehe hope you like these!

First up-
Q: How does Jack Frost get to work?
A: Bi-icicle

Best pick up line/joke-
Q: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Me: Umm..I dunno? A lot?
A: Enough to break the ice, my name is __________.

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#40966
So it's a teenage boys first prom and he's very nervous. After weeks of waiting, he finally builds up the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams and she says yes! So he goes to buy the tickets and the ticket line is really long but he waits for 45 minutes and gets the tickets.

Over the weekend, he goes to the Tux store to rent a tux and sees a long line of classmates trying on tuxes. He has to wait for two whole hours in the tux line, but eventually gets his tuxedo. The day before prom, he realizes that he forgot to buy a corsage! Panicking, he runs to the flower shop and sees a long line of boys who apparently had also forgotten. He has to wait three hours before he can finally pick out the perfect corsage.

The prom finally comes around. he's in his fancy tux, with his beautiful date. After a dance, she tells him she's thirsty. He says he'll go get some punch for them, and walks over to the buffet. There is no punchline.



....don't kill me lol

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