Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge. (Age 18 or older only permitted)
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By DaddysDingbat
#62
Daddy and I are in a LDR. The distance makes meeting up difficult sometimes because we're both in college and also work jobs (me full time and him part time). We usually see each other a few times a month but we've been together for about 7-8 months now.

I spend the weekend with him a few weeks back and I can't just shake this off. I was laying in his bed while he was showering and I heard his phone vibrate. I'm usually not one to snoop but I guess I just...did.

I picked up the phone and saw that it was a text message from a girl named Amber. He had never talked about Amber so I was a very bad girl and decided to read the text. She referred to him as "Daddy" in the text. It sent off alarms in my head.

So, I went back to the message screen and skimmed through his texts. There were a handful of girls he had been texting and calling them princess, babygirl, etc. They were all referring to him as their Daddy.

I put the phone back and gathered myself before he came out from the shower. Since then I've dropped hints that I know he has other littles. He keeps denying it. I even got a punishment over it because he said he was reassuring me that I'm his own little girl and that he loves me ("his princess") so much that he could never have another little, ever.

What do I do at this point?

I know what I saw was real and I know that they weren't just platonic messages. They were flirty, sexual in nature, and very much in Ddlg scenes. I don't know if they know? I don't think so because he hasn't told me.

I love him a lot. I would be OK with talking about going poly in the relationship. I know we live apart and he needs things that I can't give right now because of time constraints. But why isn't he just fessing up? How do I talk to him? I hate having to admit I snooped but...I did. What now?

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By JuneStar
#67
This is not an okay situation.

There is nothing wrong with polyamory or having an open relationship, but there is something wrong with lying to your partner (or, in this case, partners). It sounds like you two haven't been on the same page with your relationship. There's multiple things that could be happening here:
  • He actually is cheating. If you've been over things and have a mutual agreement that you two are devoted to each other then he is flat-out lying about being monogamous with you and, thus, faithful to you.
  • He is under the impression that you two aren't as serious as you may have thought. It happens. Maybe he thinks you two are kind of a hook-up-a-few-times-a-month couple rather than something devoted to each other. Maybe things were mis-communicated.
  • He made an assumption that you two are in a polyamorous relationship together. If you two never discussed it properly then it's possible that you both made your own assumptions. Maybe things just weren't communicated at all.
Everything boils down to you needing to talk with him about the situation. You need to do it. You'll have to fess up that you were snooping through his things. Let him know that you found some things that have caused some confusion with how your relationship with him is going. You'll either get good news and an apology or bad news and a break-up. Either way, it's in your best interest to get this out of the way now versus six months down the road when your heart is placed even deeper in his trust.

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