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By AikaRose
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#54117
Hey everyone!

So I need a little advice with things I've been battling in my head for a while now lately...

1. I don't exactly know how to come out to my caregiver that I want to be in my little space more..

I love him, and I know he isn't too into me being in little space so often but I've really wanted to be in my little space more often then I usually am, but I never know when is the right time to be a little or not so I usually try and hide it away often when I am in my little space...

2. I also don't exactly know how to tell him that I don't like one of his punishments he gives me when I act like a brat...

I know he only means well but the punishment is something I have problems with from the past and sometimes it scares or triggers me...it makes me become distant with him afterwards and I don't really like it...

There are times where I do like it...just not as a punishment and I don't know how to explain that because it becomes difficult for me to...

And my last issue...

3. Me and my Daddy haven't been spending a lot of time together lately and it makes me sad and insecure...

Me and him are long distance, but he doesn't have a job yet but he is going for his GED... I am still in HS (got held back ;-;) but even when I'm in school we use to find a lot of time to talk/text, rather it was during lunch or even classroom breaks...

Lately it seems he's been more distant and I only get a reply from him ever once a hour after 1 pm...

We have had a on and off relationship so much and one of the main reasons was because there was never time for us to spend... I feel like I'm often making the effort to contact him only to get a reply a hour later...

I wish I could say it's because he is busy with things he's doing in real life and I would understand a bit better if he was... it still would make me a little sad but as long as it was for a better future for us I'd understand... however it seems to me all Daddy does is play his video games and never has time for me anymore...

I don't want to leave my Daddy because I really do love him and would miss him if I was to leave him again but I can't keep feeling this way and it makes me feel so sad and... just not that important I guess...

I know he doesn't mean to make me feel this way but as I have some really bad insecurities and I end up feeling that way in the end anyways...

I really need some advice on those because I don't know what to do otherwise and in the end I'd probably keep doing what I do now which is stay quiet and not speak out but... in the end that seems to hurt me more and I don't know how to react or what to do...

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#54119
Hello! :hi: First off, I think it's kinda strange that someone who is supposed to be your caregiver is irritated by you being in little space. If he hasn't outright said that he's irritated by your littleness, then I wouldn't want to jump to that conclusion, maybe he's just stressed about something, or he has caregiver burnout. This site has a good post on cg burnout if you haven't read it yet. If he HAS said that you being little irritates him, then maybe he shouldn't be your caregiver. I'm not saying break up, there are plenty of littles in relationships and their partners don't participate. So maybe talk to him about that, maybe he's rather not be part of it.
Second, the punishment thing, you HAVE to bring that up to him. Daddies don't get to pick the punishments just because they're our daddies. Punishments need to be agreed upon by both parties. There are lots of things my boyfriend does during play time that I would definitely not like as a punishment. You need to let him know that that particular punishment is NOT ok with you, at least not as a punishment. I know it's uncomfortable to talk about stuff like this sometimes, but if it's causing you mental harm then you need to put a stop to it. Again, punishments are decided by BOTH parties, not just our caregivers.
Thirdly, I think this one kinda goes along with the first part. He could just be burnt out. I know sometimes for me, when I'm burnt out, in just sit around and watch YouTube or something and not actually look like I'm busy or stressed or whatever, but it's because I have an unhealthy way of coping with my stress. Instead of dealing with it, I push it to the side. Maybe that's what he's doing, since he's going to college. Also, I'm not sure how long y'all have been dating, but it could be that he's just really comfortable and doesn't feel the need to talk to you ask the time like he did in the beginning. But we littles are quite needy, so this tends to upset is a lot. There needs to be an understanding on both sides, that our caregivers need to talk to us more than in a regular relationship, and WE need to realize that it's ok if they don't. Sometimes people are busy or need to destress and don't want to talk. I suggest talking to him about your concerns, and let him know that if there's anything bothering him that you want to be there for him. We littles have to remember that we support our daddies just as much as they support us. So I wouldn't just to any bad conclusions, since that just make us go into defense mode, and that's not good for communication. Just talk to him about what is bothering you, and let him know that if there's anything bothering him that he can talk to you about it. I hope this is helpful in some way! :pheart:

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By Senrin
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#54122
Just like LittleLoliFur said, talk to him.
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship, even more in a relationship with bondaries.
And if it‘s hard for you to talk, then you could try writing it down and giving it to him, so you can talk about it when he is done reading it.

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